[ORP] Speed Dating - Seeking Mr. Right or Lady Love! [CLOSED]

[HopelesslyPretty]

Lemon Lime grinned enthusiastically as she made her way into the bar, already psyched up to enter Cloud Nine. Usually the tennis player left her now adult kids live their own lives without interference... but not tonight. She had been on a stroll through the neighborhood only for an epiphany to dawn on her. Why should she let her kids have all the fun hitting on beautiful fillies?? For this mare, speed dating was not about finding one's potential mate for life - this was about finding a new gal pal to bring home and 'play with'. Already confident in her success, she had already started a bet with Candy Cane via text message (her cellphone was tucked away safely in her fanny pack) that she'd score more dates than anyone else.

She approached the bar with a loud laugh, enjoying the brief look of sheer horror on her son's face before she reassured him she wouldn't get up to too much trouble by patting his arm. "Don't worry Punch, Mama Lemon's gonna make you proud." The disapproving expression on his face only made her feel even better about her decision to join in. She ordered her favorite drink - Tequila Smash! As she made her way over to a table she gave her daughter Banana Creme a friendly wink before taking a seat and promptly kicking her feet up on the table in a show of her boldness. The blonde was sizing up the competition and she definitely liked the variety of ladies in the room. The stallions however might as well have had cooties.... She didn't bat them an eye at all.

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[color=lawngreen][b]Is MILF on your menu for tonight? ;D[/b][/color]
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[color=lawngreen][b]Tell me all about how you won your coolest gold medal, award or achievement.[/b][/color]
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[color=lawngreen][b]Who's your favorite sports team or sports player? Mine's Rumbling Rocket, a female three time gold medalist for Tennis Single's Match Tournaments.[/b][/color]
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[cursedwanderer]

Happy Endings strolled into the bar like he owned the place.  This wasn't his first (or last) rodeo.  When you made your money by comforting the lonely you went to a lot of singles mixers.  After all, why wait for your clients to come to you when you can go to them? 

The flutter swung by the bar to grab a cocktail and maybe flirt with the bartender a little.  It couldn't hurt to get some additional free drinks, he thought.  Plus some liquid courage would help after the recent series of rejections he'd gotten lately.  Had he lost his touch or did he just need some practice?  The stallion ran his ghostly hoof through his mane and surveyed the crowd from the bar stool.

"Any bets on who will leave here happy and who's night is going to end in tears?" He smiled.

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[color=#A3D6C5][b]What is your favorite genre of book?[/b][/color]
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[color=#A3D6C5][b]Fabio or Fabi-no?[/b][/color]
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[color=#A3D6C5][b]What's your love language?[/b][/color]
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[Gl!tch~]

King had hens and a foal back home to keep an eye on, but he had put the hens in the coop for the night, and as for the foal... It was good to let kids roam the roost once in a while, right? As a trust exercise? Or something? King didn't know for sure, but he wasn't about to baby Scrambled. One night out wouldn't kill anybody.

The little pegasus felt the need to mingle anyway. His life was turning entirely business, and a bit fatherly, as of late. So he didn't really get to talk up the mares. And how could a rooster stallion coast through life ignoring that impulse?

So, like many others, he strode in with all the confidence in the world. It didn't matter that so many others were taller than him, or already seemed to have the best spots and poses as they waited for the event to start. He still had the best-combed crest mane. Uh-huh.

Drink in hoof, he was going to kill it tonight.

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[color=brown][b]Do you like and/or have hens?[/b][/color]
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[color=brown][b]Which pellet mix do you think is the best?[/b][/color]
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[color=brown][b]Free range or pasture-raised?[/b][/color]
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[Ruriska]

Speed and dating were just two of the things Shrill X loved, put them together and she knew she was going to have a good time.

Finding true love was certainly not on the agenda but the lovelorn at these events were always easy pickings and whisking away some sad so-and-so who needed a good shot of tequila and walk on the wild side was always worth writing down in the diary for the fond memories.

And so in swaggered Shrill X, who went straight over to the bar to get her free drink and then plonked herself down in the nearest chair, leaning precariously back on two legs as she took a big sip to top up the drink or two she'd already had before arriving.

They were a good looking bunch with a few faces she recognized. This was gonna be fun.

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[color=mediumpurple][b]Do you like to party?[/b][/color]
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[color=mediumpurple][b]Yell really loud for me. Do it. It's fun.[/b][/color]
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[color=mediumpurple][b]How do you feel about monogamy and why does it suck?[/b][/color]
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[Yasha]

Sweet Bread stood frozen outside of the buzzing bar. Her thoughts getting the better of her. Did she actually want to do this... again? She pushed for Expired to try it out, but he refused unless she suffered through this as well. He could see through her. The past couple years had been a whirlwind. Now that she finally accepted that her husband had dissapeared, Sweets was dealing with a lot of emptions. Anger. Sadness. Loneliness. She missed him. But he would want her to be happy, right? She gave a sigh, stepped into the bar and filled out the questionnaire. Finally, she ordered a Shirley temple and sat down.

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[color=#c0006c][b]What's your favorite sandwich?[/b][/color]
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[color=#c0006c][b]Do you have any children of your own?[/b][/color]
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[color=#c0006c][b]Have you ever loved someone before?[/b][/color]
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Expired cursed at himself. He didn't want to be here, but a deal was a deal. He stepped into the overly crowded bar and looked over the guidelines for this evening. If nothing else, he got a free drink for the evening. He ordered a whiskey neat. Then figured out his questions while waiting at the bar.

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[color=#6B5296][b]What is one food you could go without?[/b][/color]
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[color=#6B5296][b]What do you look for in a partner?[/b][/color]
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[color=#6B5296][b]Why are you here?[/b][/color]
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Bijou Blende stepped into the bar and looked around with a sleepy gaze. Ugh, she had finished up a custom order at work and was too tired to be here right now. Why did this have to be tonight? She went straight to the bar and ordered a double espresso. The bartender looked at her funny, unsure if she was being serious or not. She didn't blink, waiting for the sweet relief of caffeine to get her through this night.

When she finally got her drink, she turned to scan the crowd. "Wisp??" Bijou trotted over to sit next to her sibling. It would be less weird if she made her presence known now. "Hey there, I didn't know you would be here tonight. I feel better knowing someone here. Did you think of any good questions yet?" She said peering over occasionally as she tried to figure out her own questions.

@zippedsiren [mini tag, you don't have to respond. Bijou wanted to say hi to her fam. OTL]

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[color=#e69797][b]What's your work life balance like?[/b][/color]
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[color=#e69797][b]Out of the seven deadly sins, which one is yours?[/b][/color]
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[color=#e69797][b]Coffee or tea?[/b][/color]
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[cursedwanderer]

Fatal Attraction was practically quivering with excitement.  It'd been so long since she'd last had a paramour and she was beginning to feel awfully lonely after her love interest errr...  Disappeared.  At least that's what she'd told the cops when they'd come knocking at her door.  Now here she was, dressed to the nines in her best maid costume (that's what the mares and stallions found attractive, right?) and ready to meet the phony who would definitely be her one true love this time, unlike all the other times before.  Those phony had obviously just tricked her, made her believe that they were destined to be together forever when it was all just a lie.  Some of them even had the audacity to tell her that they thought she was creepy.  The nerve!

Well that was not going to happen tonight, the mare was feeling confident and giddy as she walked into Cloud Nine.  She was so certain that tonight was the night, the night she would meet her one true love.  They would instantly hit it off and then they would be whisked off in a whirlwind romance culminating in lots of foals and a cute little house.  Of course her perfect partner would never think she was creepy or say they didn't like her collecting their used tissues.  They'd also never even consider looking at another phony with love in their eyes.  That was all for her!

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[color=#63350f][b]How do you feel about horror movies?[/b][/color]
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[color=#63350f][b]Would you love me forever and ever and ever?[/b][/color]
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[color=#63350f][b]Would you find it weird if your partner dug through your trash?[/b][/color]
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[cursedwanderer]

Paws Button bounced into the bar full of glee.  The mare was so happy she was practically vibrating (but maybe that was just all the candy she had eaten earlier).  The small mare twirled and skipped, oohing and ahhing at the decorations and frolicking amongst the scattered rose petals.  Once she was satisfied that she had thoroughly enjoyed the scenery she made her way over to the tables and took a seat at the table next to her mother.

"Hello mama!  Looking for a handsome prince?"  She giggled, coyly hiding her smile behind a hoof.  "I hope we'll meet lots of nice people here.  It would be even better if I could find someone who loves to dress up as much as I do.  I'd really love to have someone to go to the conventions with."
@Fealine

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[color=#8A0886][b]Do you enjoy wearing costumes?[/b][/color]
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[color=#8A0886][b]If you could dress up as any fictional character who would you choose?[/b][/color]
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[color=#8A0886][b]Have you made anything you're really proud of?[/b][/color]
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[Huni Pi]

It wasn't that Rough Shards was late late. He'd been pacing back and forth just outside the venue thinking and rethinking whether or not he would actually go inside and participate. He was nervous, obviously, about so many things like making a fool of himself, or upsetting someone by accident by saying the wrong thing to them. He wasn't exactly Mr. Popularity after all. But when all's said and done, he was here and at Sea Whip's encouragement (that is, her playful threats of locking him out for the night if he chickened out) he braved strangers in hopes of making a friend or two.

Ah, it seemed he still had time to join. Taking a card, he began to write.

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[color=darkcyan][b]What is your ideal Sunday afternoon?[/b][/color]
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[color=darkcyan][b]How do you feel about rainy days?[/b][/color]
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[color=darkcyan][b]Where would you hide a present to keep it a surprise?[/b][/color]
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[zippedsiren]

Alright, alright. Centaur Fold held his hands up to shield his eyes from any glare while he peered into the bar windows. It was looking pretty full already, which means  he'd have ample amount of folks to cozy up to potentially, maybe even all of them if he could swing it. After all, he had enough limbs to give multiple hugs.

Galloping straight in, he grabbed a drink with a teeny umbrella and proceeded to walk about eyeing up the room while thinking of the questions he'd like to ask the ladies and gents. Drink in one hand, he used his other to casually brush back his blonde mane as he smiled at anyone who'd make eye contact.

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[color=#8B4513][b]Do you like hands on experiences?[/b][/color]

[color=#8B4513][b]"Wanna arm wrestle?" Centaur Fold slap down an arm to the table ready to challenge. He always makes use of the extra limbs.[/b][/color]

[color=#8B4513][b]"How do you feel about finger... foods?" Cent eyes the menu and winks.[/b][/color]


Wisp was airly absorbed in looking at a the phonies walking by, simply entranced in phony watching when a familiar voice caught her attention. Turning to see her younger sister, Bijou! Smiling back, "BB! Yes, I think I have a question or two that will do. " At least with her sister here, there would be someone to talk to who didn't find her too weird.
@Yasha

[Scaramouche Fandango]

Kaiju Blue had completely forgotten that there was an event at the club tonight. He had only planned originally on stopping in for a nice after-work cocktail. Defending the shoreline was thirsty work. When he saw the line out the door, he remembered that speed dating was a thing that was happening. Shaking an errant drop of water from his mane, he ran a hoof through his hair to tousle it attractively, as opposed to leaving it the windswept mess it often was after work. Speed dating, though he'd forgotten about it, would be a great time. In his line of work, he didn't have many opportunities to mingle, and he always did like to take things fast. The room already had an energy to it he was happy to match, and after downing his first Mai Tai of the evening, he filled out his little card with the best questions he could think of.

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[color=indigo][b]If your destiny was to save the world, what threat would you be defending it against?[/b][/color]


[color=indigo][b]If you were on a monster-fighting team with your best friend, what would your team name and theme be, and what would your uniforms look like?[/b][/color]


[color=indigo][b]Would you rather go to the deep ocean or deep space, and why?[/b][/color]


[thy]

Nina wasn't quite sure she was looking for romance, here. Not in the near future, anyway. She had things to do! But one of those things included, like, getting to know people. She'd been around since the park opened and still hadn't managed that. And, hey, there were free drinks here. Well. One free drink. She walked in just in time to grab her chuuhai and seat herself in the crowd.

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[color=#420420][b]How do you stay in contact with your pals?[/b][/color]
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[color=#420420][b]How do you wind down after work?[/b][/color]
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[color=#420420][b]What's your sleep schedule like?[/b][/color]
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[shortcutt]

Banana Creme's Replies!

[spoiler]Fruit Punch
What the hell was her brother doing?! He was supposed to be hosting the event, not tending it! That was his punishment!

What's your favorite drink (alcoholic or non)?
Your tears. With a spritz of lemon.

What brought you here tonight? Do you think you'll find true love or just a new friend?
Oh, I don't know... I distinctly remember someone horrible forcing me to be here to socialize, and now our family is here along with really hot phony, and I swear if I embarrass myself tonight, or I see someone go home with Mom, you're not waking up tomorrow.

Technically I'm off the menu. But if I wasn't... Talk dirty to me.
Why is this even a question you're putting out there? Why are you like this??

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Torte Bar
Well this cute mare sure seemed lively... But that was kinda nice from time to time.

I like a GOOD, strong drink. What did ya get from the bar?
Oh, I mixed myself a White Russian back in the kitchen before I came out here. The bartender says that's my "one free drink," but he doesn't own me. I'll order six if I want.

What's the most RECKLESS thing you've done? For legal purposes, don't tell me any crimes.
Reckless? There was one time I was running late for a macaron delivery and there were a bunch of phony walking on the sidewalk next to the ocean, right? So I jumped up onto the sea wall and ran across like a lunatic. It was terrifying. I could've dropped my 'rons...

Last, but not least! Sports?
I've played tennis on and off with my Mom, so I follow it a little bit, but otherwise, I don't really do sports, y'know?

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Shimmering Sea
Her nephew Butter Beer had mentioned meeting a mer with beautiful violet and indigo hair... But that would be so awkward if she brought it up and was wrong.

Do you enjoy hanging out on the beach at night?
You know, I've only ever done it a few times with my siblings, but it's really relaxing. I wouldn't mind making that a regular thing.

Do you have any hobbies? Mine's collecting shells from the beach - I have like, a gajillion of them!
I like watching movies on the weekends... I've seen a bunch of them. Oh! I uh, also like collecting the tabs on my Blue Bull cans. They kinda just sit in a pile in my room, though...

Would you rather be the artist creating art for a showing or a spectator enjoying the gallery? There's no wrong answer!
Depends on what kind of art we're talking about. Though, I guess I'd probably be more likely to be the artist creating the art for a gallery showing... But just the thought of that makes me so nervous...

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Heavenly Body
Banana Creme nearly had a heart attack when sitting down with the mare. Was it even legal for someone like her to be in the tall mare's presence?! Wow.

What is the greatest adventure you've ever been on?
I don't think I've ever... Really... Been on an adventure... Unless we're counting the time I got drunk with my brother and ran until I got lost...

How comfortable are you around dead things?
Can't say I've been around too many dead things, but I feel like horror movies have numbed me to a point where I don't think I'd mind too much.

On a scale of one to ten, how coordinated are you?
Honestly? A 10 when I'm concentrating. Every time else, I'm about a 5...

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Willow Wisp
What a pretty mare... Wait! Are those fangs?! That's pretty cool...

"What animal do you feel the most kinship with and why?"
Probably a hamster. They kinda just want to be left alone, most of the time, and they have this cute sleepy face when they just wake up... They're cute. Really cute. Is that... Does that count as an acceptable answer..?

Wisp becomes distracted midway through your conversation by literally anything and points to something else in the room. "Would you look at that, isn't that neat?"
--thermostat has to be set to-- Huh? Oh, yeah, I guess that is pretty cool! Wait, are we seeing the same thing? You're talking about the fairy lights, right?

If you could get back any one thing you've lost what would it be?
Ugh, my dignity, in some cases. I have tripped over myself and my words so many times in front of attractive phonies... It's kinda why I'm glad that you came to my table instead of the other way around, actually.

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Hush Money
This gorgeous alicorn seemed to be talking to herself. That was odd. Oh, wait, god, no, she had a camera-- Was she recording the event?

What is your opinion on ASMR?
A-ASMR..? I guess it's, um... Yeah, nice-- I like those, um, uh... S-Soap cutting videos..? With the sound of the cubes? Or... something...

Would you consider yourself wealthy?
Well, I'm not... Not loaded, or anything, but I'm, um, definitely not-- Are you seriously recording this right now?

Do you think I'm the most beautiful mare in the room?  I'm a gamer girl, by the way.
Oh. A fellow gamer girl. What's your handle? Do you play RPGs or FPSs, or TPSs? I'm a fan of TPSs, but I do like the MH series, and a lot of the Nintendough games, too. I don't know if you're the most beautiful--I haven't met everyone yet. But playing games definitely gives you points in my book!

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Blind Love
She looks so kind... And soft... And... Wow, she was pretty up close. Banana Creme had to remind herself to start talking when they were seated.

Have you ever been in-love before?
I don't think I've ever really been in love... Fleeting crushes are as far as I've ever gotten. But I'd... Kind of like to, y'know... Fall in love someday.

Do you ever see yourself settling down with someone?
It's really hard to imagine, just because I've never even dated anyone, but the thought is really nice...

What's your first memory?
Being wrapped in my Mom's arms in a warm towel after a bath. Her smile makes my heart swell.

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Kiwi Kiss
Kiwi Kiss! Finally, a familiar face that wasn't her family, thank goodness. She looked extra lovely tonight.

Oh no! An orc breaks into the restaurant! What do you do?
I'd grab you and get the hell out of here. Or we'd hide in the kitchen. The kitchen's pretty sturdy.

Describe your ideal first date!
M-My ideal-- Date?? I, uh, um... P-Probably dinner and a movie...

What's your favorite fruit?
No lie, I'm in love with golden kiwis. They taste delicious. Oh! Do you have a golden kiwi tart? Could you make one for me?

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Knockout
Oh no. Oh no, no, no, no, no. She knew he was coming, but she forgot they would have to meet each other like this. Banana Creme apologized over and over in her head.

DC or Marvel?
Wha-- You know it's Marvel, but that's not important. Dude, we gotta get out of here--

Name your top superhero or supervillain from any movie or tv genre.
Skeletor. Can we go now??

How would you feel if your partner wasn't necessarily a 'good phony'?
You know how I feel about that! ... Ahem... Er. Yeah. You know.

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Tsunami Waves
Her hair was gorgeous! BC had to tell her when she joined the table.

How do you feel about water?
I enjoy being near it, but I don't drink it that often... I should probably fix that.

What's your favorite thing to do at the beach?
Burying myself in the sand. It's really nice and warm, especially when the sun's out. Though, the last time I did that, I nearly died when I fell asleep and the tide came up way closer than I would have liked.

Have you seen Chad?
Chad? Who's... Oh, are we talking about the ethereal Chad that lives in us all? Or like, are you talking about a dude that's here, I-- I don't know names here, oh man, I might've messed up and forgot...

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Foxtrot
That sure was a bright smile. Banana Creme tried to replicate it herself as she joined the mare at her table, but she felt like it was all wrong, so it fell into a hint of a smile at best, her eyes averted. (Why did she always have to make a fool out of herself in front of pretty phonies?!)

Do you like to dance?
I think I'd be too nervous to dance in front of anyone... But I guess I do, um, dance at home... A little.

What is your ideal music to dance too?
It's a little embarrassing, but... Rock ballads are the most fun to get dramatic to.

What relaxes you most?
Honestly, it's working on decorating my macarons. It's hard work, but I can really lose myself in it. I think it's really important to be able to relax while doing something that you love, y'know?

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Shockstar
She had seen him at the beginning of the event trying to get to her (ah, that made her feel really special...), but there were too many phonies in the way at the time and, okay, maybe she'd been trying to seek him out the whole night. Someone she could let her guard down around.

What's your favorite Pocket Monster type?
Electric, man. It always made me happy when my hair matched the same color as my favorite Pocket Monsters. Plus, I think Electric types are incredibly strong, too. Reminds me of you too, to be honest.

What's your dream Pocket Monster team?
I'd ideally only want my partner Pocket Monster to be my team. I'd want them to remind me of Crumble in personality, too. -smiles fondly at the thought of her dog-

How do you level up your mons?
With hand-made treats! Nothing spells out love and gives you strength like someone giving you a dessert they worked really hard on just for you! Oh yeah, speaking of treats, I have a bag of them I was going to give to you this week some time, if you want to stop by the kitchen on your way out?

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Regrind
Oh. He seemed bashful. And handsome. And he was big, too. CUTE!!!! Don't mess this one up, BC. Don't you dare do it.

What are your feelings on renewable energy/resources?
It's really important to go green wherever you can. Actually, this restaurant, our family restaurant, tries as best as we can to cut down on food waste, and whatever we can't use in our kitchen, we donate to the farms to use as fertilizer. ...I really like the look of windmills, too.

Would you eat lab created meat/food?
Yeah, so long as it wasn't putting some kind of strain onto the environment to create it. I've heard a lot about the process in trying to get that kind of stuff into grocery stores, and it seems pretty viable, to me!

Do you think Phonyland is energy efficient?
I... Can't say that I've looked into the energy infrastructure, but Phonyland seems to be making good, practical decisions where they can.

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Country Kitchen
What was with all the cute guys tonight?! This was getting ridiculous... Banana Creme put on a smile, having just recently pat herself on the back for not stuttering at all through her last conversation. Maybe she was getting better at this.

What is your favorite comfort food and why?
Oh, Velveeta mac 'n cheese... No doubt. -she looked like she was in heaven just thinking about it-

What simple pastimes do you enjoy?
Putting on a movie while eating dinner is something I've really come to love as I've gotten older. It rounds out my days with something fun, for sure.

What is your favorite topping to put on potatoes?
Gravy, of course. But the brown gravy. Not white gravy. It has to be the savory brown gravy, otherwise it's just not as good.

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Lemon Lime
Not again. Not another family member. Not her mom of all people...

Is MILF on your menu for tonight?
MOTHER.

Tell me all about how you won your coolest gold medal, award or achievement.
... I guess it was the time you took me to that tennis match and I won the bronze medal... Look, I tried, okay?

Who's your favorite sports team or sports player? Mine's Rumbling Rocket, a female three time gold medalist for Tennis Single's Match Tournaments.
Rumbling Rocket's the only player I keep up with. You know that. (Good questions, Mom. I'm proud of you. Except for that first one. Stop that.)

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Happy Endings
What a fair phony... He seemed to absolutely exude confidence like he owned the bar, and, well, BC was surprisingly taken by it.

What is your favorite genre of book?
I don't read all that much anymore, but when I do, I... Well... I'm a sucker for romance novels... Makes me sound kinda... Boring, when I think about it...

Fabio or Fabi-no?
I-- Um-- Yeeess..?

What's your love language?
Physical. That's one of them, right? Yeah. I'm sticking with it.

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King Cock
Haha, oh yeah. She liked him, alright. She already knew she was going to enjoy this meeting.

Do you like and/or have hens?
I adore hens. I really wanted one as a child, but I wound up adopting Crumble, my dog, first. I still wouldn't mind to have some hens, though. Access to my own organic eggs would be awesome.

Which pellet mix do you think is the best?
The brown kind. With the corn and the green bits in it. I've seen hens go ham over that stuff before. Or... Maybe it was the one with the insect bits in it..? I can't actually remember.

Free range or pasture-raised?
Pasture-raised, thank you very much. I like seeing chickens out under the sun. They produce higher quality product like that, anyway.

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Shrill X
Hey! She knew that voice!! Ohhhhh boy, she was sitting down to have a conversation with the famous radio host-- Can't mess this one up! ... Oh no, she was cute in person, too.

Do you like to party?
I've... Never been invited to party... Unless you're like, talking about getting drunk with your siblings and doing dumb stuff. Because yeah, I enjoy that a lot.

Yell really loud for me. Do it. It's fun.
-coughs- My um, throat... -coughs again- Suddenly dried up...

How do you feel about monogamy and why does it suck?
Well, considering that my parents are both swingers, I never really thought a lot about monogamy growing up. I thought it was just normal that everyone could have a different partner at any given time. I get monogamy, though. I guess it's all really based on upbringing and personal preference.

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Sweet Bread
This mare had an amazing mane too, what the hell! And she smelled nice, too... What a full package.

What's your favorite sandwich?
Yakisoba pan. I'm getting a real bad craving for it, now... Whoops.

Do you have any children of your own?
I personally don't, but my sister has kids that I'm very fond of and enjoy being around. I don't know if I'd make a very good mother myself, though. That's a lot of dedication.

Have you ever loved someone before?
I can't say that I have. That's a really strong emotion... And I figure I'd know it when I felt it. I've had plenty of crushes, though. Not that those ever wound up anywhere, haha...

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Expired Expectations
The stallion looked like he didn't want to be here at all. Banana Creme didn't blame him one bit. She would rather be anywhere else but here, but maybe they could commiserate on that.

What is one food you could go without?
If I never had to taste kale again, I wouldn't be sorry. It's too bitter for about everything it goes into, and it tastes terrible when steamed.

What do you look for in a partner?
Ideally, someone who can match my pace. It's not very urgent a lot of the time. But someone who... Ah... Someone who understands me at the deepest part, beneath all this, y'know... All this awkward bullshit. That'd take a lot of patience, though.

Why are you here?
I was trapped into coming to the event. I practically live in the back kitchen and my brother, that asshole bar tender, forced me into it. Otherwise, you bet your ass I'd be at home watching a movie by now.

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Bijou Blende
There were so many attractive phonies here tonight, and Bijou Blende was no exception. She looked like a mare who should be pampered to the best of someone's ability... BC wouldn't mind telling her that, too.

What's your work life balance like?
Work is life. I have my nights free most of the time, but otherwise I'm usually in the back kitchen making special orders for tomorrow's delivery. I'm not unhappy about it, though.

Out of the seven deadly sins, which one is yours?
I would say Sloth because I feel like I'm being lazy all the time... But if we're being honest here... It's um. Probably Gluttony. Good food is good food, and I can't deny that.

Coffee or tea?
I love sweet tea, but coffee gets me through the nights. I can't really choose one over the other. That's a lame answer, I know.

-----

Fatal Attraction
What a stunning outfit she had on! And her eyes, oh, Creme was taken by them in an instant.

How do you feel about horror movies?
They're my absolute favorite! I dig a lot of the classics, but the newer ones that are starting to come out are putting a new twist on the genre that I can really get behind, y'know?

Would you love me forever and ever and ever?
I-If we, um-- If that's how things... Wound up? With us? Somehow? Yeah, I'd... Yeah. Forever and ever.

Would you find it weird if your partner dug through your trash?
I've... Seen weirder. Though I'd have to caution you about the raw egg shells in the kitchen trash. I go through a lot of eggs in a day, especially when I get a string of pavlova orders.

-----

Paws Button
SO. CUTE. Something about this mare just made Banana Creme want to hug her, but that would be horribly awkward for the both of them, and maybe she'd get herself kicked out of her sister's bar. Fruit Punch would do it, too.

Do you enjoy wearing costumes?
I really like my hat, though my brother stole it from me tonight. ...But I guess that doesn't really count as a costume, huh? ...I don't think I'd be opposed to it?

If you could dress up as any fictional character who would you choose?
Elvira. Please, just let me exude the confidence and sexiness of Elvira.

Have you made anything you're really proud of?
Oh, yeah, actually! I had an order of a tower of macarons not too long ago, and each one was to be decorated with lace patterns and edible crystals. It took me such a long time to finish, but they were beautiful when they were finished. I still have pictures on my phone, if you want to see them?

-----

Rough Shards
Intimidated was the wrong word. Was there a word for pleasantly intimidated? The stallion looked like he would give excellent hugs...

What is your ideal Sunday afternoon?
Sundays are the one day my family forced me not to work, so I take advantage of them when I can. I like to lay out somewhere warm, like on the beach, or in the park on a picnic blanket when the weather permits. Maybe I'll bring music with me to listen to.

How do you feel about rainy days?
Well, they're not good days to make macarons on, I'll tell you that. So it kind of forces me to take a break from those, at least. I do love snuggling up in my bed and cracking the window a little bit to get the smell of rain.

Where would you hide a present to keep it a surprise?
In my bedroom closet. No one bothers coming into my room anyway, so no one would ever find it...

-----

Centaur Fold
Hands. Hands she could ask to knead dough for her. Hands that could reach the top shelf of the pantry and not knock half the things down. And, wow, what a looker those hands were attached to.

Do you like hands on experiences?
Yes. What is this in reference to? ...Whatever, never mind, I don't care, answer's still yes.

"Wanna arm wrestle?" Centaur Fold slap down an arm to the table ready to challenge. He always makes use of the extra limbs.
As long as you can hang on, properly. -gingerly, she sits her arm on top of the table, ready to go at any time he was-

"How do you feel about finger... foods?" Cent eyes the menu and winks.
I-- yes. Right. Good. I mean to say they're good. ...Fun.

-----

Kaiju Blue
When the dark stallion walked her way, her heart stopped. Why did everyone have to be so ridiculously hot?! This was entirely unfair.

If your destiny was to save the world, what threat would you be defending it against?
Famine. Of horse legend; you know the one, right? Said to be skeletal and sunken-- Yeah. I'd be defeating him for the right to make sure everyone had a full belly, and no one ever went hungry again.

If you were on a monster-fighting team with your best friend, what would your team name and theme be, and what would your uniforms look like?
Team name? Thunderstruck. Uniforms? Has to be something with helmets that make us look more terrifying than we actually are. Definitely some spikes on the suits, too.

Would you rather go to the deep ocean or deep space, and why?
The deep ocean for sure. I always love those deep sea documentaries, and there's so much we don't know about the place! That's creepy and fascinating at the same time, for sure.

-----

Nina
One last mare... Hey, hadn't Banana Creme seen her around somewhere as a foal? They never spoke, but it seemed as if Nina had been here for a long time...

How do you stay in contact with your pals?
I usually text them to stay in contact. If they don't answer, I'll march my way down to their place and meet them there. No hiding from me.

How do you wind down after work?
Definitely by watching movies at home. Or by playing video games if I'm feeling up to it. Depends on how work went, to be honest.

What's your sleep schedule like?
Decent... Enough, I guess? I get my six hours most nights, but sometimes I can't help staying up to work late or finish rounds with my friends on console.[/spoiler]

[Yasha]

Sweet Bread's Answers!

[spoiler]
FRUIT PUNCH

Sweet Bread took a deep breath to mentally prepare herself for the rush of singles. She tilted her head to see Fruit Punch up first? Oh he was at the last mixer she had gone too. She remembered how flirty he was with Rosewrite. He was so embarrassed. She giggled to herself as she reintroduced herself.

What's your favorite drink (alcoholic or non)?
"Hmm, lately I've started to enjoy hard seltzers. Fruity and fizzy. What is your drink of choice?"

What brought you here tonight? Do you think you'll find true love or just a new friend?
"Can I say it's complicated?" She gave a laugh, finding herself a little more at ease. "I don't know what I am looking for here. I am just here."

Technically I'm off the menu. But if I wasn't... Talk dirty to me.
Sweet choked on her drink. "Dirty... I - uh... I think your eyes are very pretty. " She quickly darted away, her heart pounding. Who asks that kind of question??

+++

BANANA CREME

Sweet skirted off to the next date. She squinted. Hmmm. She had similar striped markings to Fruit Punch. Were they related? Sweet hoped she wouldn't be asked any dirty questions this time...

If you could be anywhere other than here tonight, where would you be?
"Hmm... home is my happy place, but I've been spending a bit too much time there lately. I suppose sitting under the stars with a snack."

I watch a lot of movies when I'm not making macarons and the like. What's your favorite movie genre, and why?
"I've been watching a lot of true crime stuff lately. Freaks me out but it draws you in. Sometimes I'm too scared to walk around my house without all the light on." She shuddered.

...What's your opinion on mares with a little more... junk in the trunk? This is purely for scientific research. That I'm interested in. Very important.
Sweet Bread blinked. Was this a dirty question? "I suppose... if this is for science, I like butts. Butts are nice." She nodded confidently.

+++

TORTE BAR

Sweet made her way over to the next phony, a chocolate colored pegasus. She looked so bold and confident. She smiled and introduced herself.

I like a GOOD, strong drink. What did ya get from the bar?
"Oh... a shirley temple." She practically whispered feeling like her drink choice was silly.

What's the most RECKLESS thing you've done? For legal purposes, don't tell me any crimes.
"I feed the birds breadcrumbs.... They tell you not too, but they look so cute." She blurted out embarrassed.

Last, but not least! Sports?
"Eh, not I can't say I do much sporting? I am more of a walker." 

+++

SHIMMERING SEA

Feeling a bit defeated she made her way to the next mixer match. She looked up to see a stunning sea phony. She was wow'ed.

Do you enjoy hanging out on the beach at night?
"I have not been to the beach at night. It sounds lovely though. I am not a fan of hot sand, so I bet at night it's much cooler.~"

Do you have any hobbies? Mine's collecting shells from the beach - I have like, a gajillion of them!
"I love to make bread, but I don't think my job can be a hobby." She laughed to herself trying to think of something. "I like to feed birds in the park. Their sweet little faces and the way they hop around sometimes. So cute."

Would you rather be the artist creating art for a showing or a spectator enjoying the gallery? There's no wrong answer!
"I enjoy creating. So I think I would be the artist in this scenario."

+++

HEAVENLY BODY

Sweets froze seeing the next phony. She was tall. Sweet blushed wildly looking at the stunning figure. Was it the lighting in her or was this phony's coat actually sparkling? It took everything in her to introduce herself.

What is the greatest adventure you've ever been on?
After the question Sweet was knocked back into reality. "Can I say falling in love for the first time?" She smiled, but started to blink away tears. "I know that's not a great answer for a first date." Sweets laughed, uneasy but finding comfort in the uncomfortable.

How comfortable are you around dead things?
"I don't think I have ever been around anything dead before... I imagine it's a little scary but also peaceful? Quiet. No more bills. No more stress. Is that morbid?" She tilted her head a bit.

On a scale of one to ten, how coordinated are you?
"7??" She questioned herself. "I am no stranger to a flour explosion in the kitchen, but magic tends to help in most cases."

+++

WISP

Sweet sat down with the next phony and was in awe once again. She had a softness about her, but also hay spilling from her stitching. Her heart warmed, she was reminded of her son Exp , and his siblings.

"What animal do you feel the most kinship with and why?"
"That is difficult. I love birds, but I think that is with a bit of envy. They can easily fly away if they feel like it. But they are soft, round and can sing. I am like a flightless bird!~" She chimed happily.

Wisp becomes distracted midway through your conversation by literally anything and points to something else in the room. "Would you look at that, isn't that neat?"
Sweet turns to see the phony pointing at an empty glass at the table next to them. It took a while for her to notice but the ice had lined up in a satisfying row. Was that what she was pointing at?? "Hmm, the ice? That is really nice." She said unsure, but smiling at the interesting character before her.

If you could get back any one thing you've lost what would it be?
"...My husband." She bowed her head and stepped away quickly. Blinking away tears again. Maybe she wasn't ready for this.
((Fuck, that one hurt... ;o; ))

+++

HUSH MONEY

Sweet continued on to the next match. An alicorn! Ohmygosh-- wait did she have a go pro? Sweet was embarrassed and a little uncomfortable. Was this allowed? It felt like an invasion of privacy.

What is your opinion on ASMR?
"I'm sorry... I don't know what that is." Sweet said, covering her face. "Are you recording this??"

Would you consider yourself wealthy?
"In love? Yes. In money? No."

Do you think I'm the most beautiful mare in the room?  I'm a gamer girl, by the way.
"You are very beautiful, but I don't understand this...I'm sorry." Sweets fled the battle.

(Sorry curse!! I love Hush! Sweets doesn't seem like she will be subscribing... xD )

+++

BLIND LOVE

Oh Blind Love. She had definitely crossed her path before. She tilted her head. 'but I thought... oh...'

Have you ever been in-love before?
This hit different. She had been asking this same questions to phonies all night, but hearing it out of someone else's mouth got to her. Without warning she hugged Blind. "I'm sorry. I usually ask permission for hugs... but this really sucks doesn't it..." She had been blinking away tears all night, but she finally just cried for a moment. She pulled away and wiped away her tears. Sniffling. "Ugh I'm sorry. Yeah I've been in love before..."

Do you ever see yourself settling down with someone?
"Maybe. Do you get a second chance at a soulmate?"

What's your first memory?
"Hmm, I can't remember much. I think my brain is fuzzy or something." She said really unable to think of anything at this point. There time was up before long and Sweet Bread gave a wave goodbye. "Come by the bakery at some point. I'd love to catch up with you."

+++

KIWI KISS

She took a deep breath and regained her composure. She still looked a bit shaken but this next phony seemed bright eyed and sweet. It helped soothe Sweet Bread a bit.

Oh no! An orc breaks into the restaurant! What do you do?
She laughed trying to wrap her head around this question. "Look to see if any kids are around. Make sure they are safe first. Then use magic to bonk the orc. Hopefully it blacks out." she said feeling good in her game plan.

Describe your ideal first date!
"First dates. I feel like I've had so many. At this point... I just want to sit at home with a glass of wine and have a nice dinner. I want to have deep conversations and to relax. All of this-" She gestures to the bar. "It's too much for me. I'm too old for this." She laughs.

What's your favorite fruit?
"I like apples. They can be sour, sweet, crunchy, soft. Very versatile. Very yummm."

+++

KNOCKOUT

She skipped to the next match up feeling a bit lighter. Oh this next phony was very brightly colored and striking. So handsome.

DC or Marvel?
"Umm... I don't know what those are." She felt awkward, like this was something she should know about.

Name your top superhero or supervillain from any movie or tv genre.
"Oh superhero stuff? Who is the angry guy with metal claws? I like him."

How would you feel if your partner wasn't necessarily a 'good phony'?
"I think good is subjective. I would prefer someone I feel safe around. I hope that answered you questions." She smiled and waved feeling out of her element but happy.

+++

TSUNAMI WAVES

Up next, oooo another seaphony! Her hair looked so pretty. She wondered if the salt water did wonder for their hair.

How do you feel about water?
"I drink a lot of water. I like water!~"

What's your favorite thing to do at the beach?
"I like to watch the waves mostly! I feel better being under an umbrella. Not a fan of the heat."

Have you seen Chad?
"Who is Chad??"

+++

FOXTROT

Do you like to dance?
"Oh goodness, I am not much of a dancer, but I like having the radio on in the kitchen." She smiled.

What is your ideal music to dance too?
"I like 'golden oldies', that romantic music you hear on the radio."

What relaxes you most?
"Kneading bread, gets out a lot of frustration then you find a groove and just relax!~"

+++

SHOCKSTAR

Sweet Bread heads to the next phony and sees a very shocking colored phony. He was so bright! He was so brightly colored and so was his animal companion.

What's your favorite Pocket Monster type?
"Pocket... monster? Um. I like birds?"

What's your dream Pocket Monster team?
"Oh um... I like blue ones and red ones... really whatever team of birds would be neat."

How do you level up your mons?
"Mons, leveling up? Uh I think you just level up with age?" Sweet Bread blinked unsure of herself at this point.

+++

REGRIND

Sweet Bread continued on her journey this evening to meet a stunning gentlephony. She introduced herself wondering if he somehow might be related...

What are your feelings on renewable energy/resources?
"I think it's something we haven't put enough thought into.... But important. I would love to be more self sufficient."

Would you eat lab created meat/food?
"Oh sure, I am uncomfortable eating meat so that would help ease my mind."

Do you think Phonyland is energy efficient?
"I have no idea! Are we??" She said feeling as if this date might be more of an environmental study...

+++

COUNTRY KITCHEN

She left confused and made her way to the next gentle phony. He seemed like a sweet boy. Handsome.

What is your favorite comfort food and why?
"Hmm, maybe charcuterie as of late. Working late sometimes I want to come home and have some sliced bread, cheese and wine."

What simple pastimes do you enjoy?
"Feeding birds in the park, long walks, baking... Yes I think that about sums me up."

What is your favorite topping to put on potatoes?
"Potatoes... interesting depends on how they are served. Fries and hashbrowns with ketchup.... Baked potato, sour cream... or diced up with olive oil and rosemary... Yeah potatoes are so versatile!"

+++

LEMON LIME
Sweet left feeling peppier and on to the next match. Oh... oh she had the same striping as Fruit Punch. Cloud Nine was full of this family. Let's hope none of her questions were dirty. 

Is MILF on your menu for tonight?
Sweet Bread fully spit out her drink in shock. "I.. what??? I don't know. You can't say that in public..." She said her eyes darted around.

Tell me all about how you won your coolest gold medal, award or achievement.
"Um one of my sons brought home an award for me. It said 'Best Mom' He drew it. Still on the fridge at home." She said smiling happily at her 'award'.

Who's your favorite sports team or sports player? Mine's Rumbling Rocket, a female three time gold medalist for Tennis Single's Match Tournaments.
"I don't have any sports teams that I follow..."

+++

HAPPY ENDINGS

She made her way to the next match up. A springwing phony. He looked rather dashing. She liked his hair.

What is your favorite genre of book?
"Does recipe count?" That was pretty much all Sweet Bread read.

Fabio or Fabi-no?
"Fabio?" She said unsure of question but just going with the fabi-flow.

What's your love language?
"I would say quality time." She smiled confidently..

+++

KING COCK

Do you like and/or have hens?
"I love hens. I don't have any of my own though!"

Which pellet mix do you think is the best?
"I have no idea... what is the best??"

Free range or pasture-raised?
"What is the difference??" She clearly wouldn't make a good chicken mom, but she loves them none the less.

+++

SHRILL X

Sweet Bread was on to the next phony and saw a familiar face. I think she was at the last one as well. She was intense but Sweet went in with an open mind.

Do you like to party?
"Mmmn I like to host small get-togethers. I'm not usually in a room with this many people."

Yell really loud for me. Do it. It's fun.
Sweet Bread looked around at all the people. She was normally too shy for this kind of thing. But gave a big shout. Barely anyone turned around and noticed. It felt therapeutic.

How do you feel about monogamy and why does it suck?
"It sucks because one day they can just disappear and take your whole heart with them...." She said earnestly before saying her good byes.

+++

EXP

Next? She smiled bumping into her son. She gave a sigh finally feeling like she was able to unwind. "Hey sweetie... How are you holding up? This is harder than I remember." They were not sure if they should ask each other questions but thought it would be a great time to decompress.

What is one food you could go without?
"Hmm I do not like jalapenos. I can do spicy... but that flavor is not good..."

What do you look for in a partner?
" I look for someone who is kind and makes pretty babies." She laughed tucking a piece of hair behind her son's ears. He scoffed at her ridiculous answer.

Why are you here?
Sweet Bread took a beat and gave him a shrug. "Mostly to get you out. Maybe we could have had our own pity party at home." She gave a chuck and hugged him before moving on.

+++

BIJOU

Sweet stepped on wards to the next date. Oh a very pretty pegasus. She smelled like coffee.

What's your work life balance like?
"Ha, not much balance. Been throwing myself into a lot of work recently."

Out of the seven deadly sins, which one is yours?
"Perhaps pride? I take a lot of pride in my family and my business. Maybe too much?"

Coffee or tea?
"Coffee, but not a lot. Just a little bit in the morning is nice."

+++

FATAL ATTRACTION

Sweet continued on to the next date. She stared in wonder at the jewel eyed phony. She had always admired the sparkly eyes.

How do you feel about horror movies?
"Oh... I don't do well with them but it's a little less scary than true crime I suppose?"

Would you love me forever and ever and ever?
"Umm... thats an intense question. Should it get to that point. I am very loyal."

Would you find it weird if your partner dug through your trash?
"Yeah... I do think that would be a bit strange." Sweet said a bit concerned wondering why anyone would riffle through the trash.

+++

PAWS BUTTON

And another one down. Another one down. Sweet was making her way through the singles. It didn't seem like there were many left! Next was a cute lil button of a phony. 

Do you enjoy wearing costumes?
"Mmm, for halloween. Sure!"

If you could dress up as any fictional character who would you choose?
"Oh I'd like to dress up as a princess next. Maybe Snow White..."

Have you made anything you're really proud of?
"My kids... I couldn't be more proud of my little ones. They surprise me every day." She said with a sweet smile. 

+++

ROUGH SHARDS

Oh wow! He was big! And very green! Sweet Bread had to look up to speak to him. She smiled. He looked intimidating but also like he didn't want to be here.

What is your ideal Sunday afternoon?
"Sunday... I like to relax on sunday. So perhaps make a picnic, go out to the lake, birdwatch. Just take it easy. Nowhere to be just taking it easy." She smiled.

How do you feel about rainy days?
"Oh rainy days are the perfect excuse to stay in. I love a fire, some hot chocolate and a puzzle to pass the time."

Where would you hide a present to keep it a surprise?
"I am not good at that. My kids would always be able to find their gift." She laughed shaking her head.

+++

CENTAUR FOLD

Well well well. What an interesting character. Sweet Bread didn't mind the extra pair of hands and actually found them rather neat.

Do you like hands on experiences?
Sweet Bread gave a laugh. "Hands... that is hilarious. Yes, I find I like putting my hooves into something over letting magic do all the work."

"Wanna arm wrestle?" Centaur Fold slap down an arm to the table ready to challenge. He always makes use of the extra limbs.
"Oh I am afraid you will best me there. I am not very strong" She said knowing she wouldn't stand a chance.

"How do you feel about finger... foods?" Cent eyes the menu and winks.
Why did he wink?? She tilted her head. "Finger foods are yum. A charcuterie board is my favorite."


+++

KAIJU BLUE

Sweet Bread moved on to her next date. Oh. He was handsome too! He looked stern and strong. She was excited to say hello.

If your destiny was to save the world, what threat would you be defending it against?
"That's a big question. I think it would be cool to fight big monsters but I can't imagine me out there doing that kind of work. I'm a simple phony."

If you were on a monster-fighting team with your best friend, what would your team name and theme be, and what would your uniforms look like?
"Best friend?" She said looking kind of disappointed. Sweet realized that kids, work, life had taken over her life. Not that she hated that but she felt a friend would be nice. "Hmm. I have no idea. Do you have a cool uniform?"

Would you rather go to the deep ocean or deep space, and why?
"Eep! Both feel so vast and scary. I prefer standing on the earth. Perhaps if I had wings, like you, then I would feel better about floating around! I think it would be cool to see what is deep in the ocean!"

+++

NINA

Sweet looked around and was greeted by the phinal phony. Oh she recognized her but never had the chance to say hello.

How do you stay in contact with your pals?
"I like having coffee dates or small get-together at my place."

How do you wind down after work?
"I like to make charcuterie boards, drink some wine and unwind while watching true crime."

What's your sleep schedule like?
"Normal-ish?? I go to bed early. Wake up early. I'm already tired." Sweet Bread gave a laugh feeling good about her last question for the night.

+++[/spoiler]

[Syrcaid]

Regrind's Answers

Code Select Expand

[color=#c997d7][b][/b][/color]

[spoiler]Banana Creme
If you could be anywhere other than here tonight, where would you be?
Back at my home in the workshop, restoring vintage toys and games.

I watch a lot of movies when I'm not making macarons and the like. What's your favorite movie genre, and why?
Action and Adventure, it's something I'd love to do but don't think I could.

...What's your opinion on mares with a little more... junk in the trunk? This is purely for scientific research. That I'm interested in. Very important.
If it serves to make you happy, it's never junk.  If you want to make others happy, then it's a priceless treasure.

-------------------------------------------------

I like a GOOD, strong drink. What did ya get from the bar?
I don't drink alcohol, it doesn't agree with me.  I ordered a mocktail with pineapples in.

What's the most RECKLESS thing you've done? For legal purposes, don't tell me any crimes.
I went into a hoarder's repossessed house without proper safety gear and looked for salvageable materials and goods.

Last, but not least! Sports?
I wrestled in high school, that's about it.

-------------------------------------------------

Shimmering Sea
Do you enjoy hanging out on the beach at night?
If I ever went to the beach, I'd love to.  Maybe look for sea glass and drift wood.

Do you have any hobbies? Mine's collecting shells from the beach - I have like, a gajillion of them!
I restore toys and games.  You'd be amazed what people throw away.

Would you rather be the artist creating art for a showing or a spectator enjoying the gallery? There's no wrong answer!
An artist, no question.  I like making others happy.[/color]

-------------------------------------------------

Heavenly Body
What is the greatest adventure you've ever been on?
Getting to this bar.  Really, I don't get out often.

How comfortable are you around dead things?
I don't mind that it's dead, it's usually the smell that churns my stomach.  Part of why I don't farm, I don't want to play in the compost.

On a scale of one to ten, how coordinated are you?
Uuuuh, I guess it'd be about... eight?  I sometimes forget how tall I am, I'm heavy but the bulk it kind of spread around.

-------------------------------------------------

Willow Wisp
"What animal do you feel the most kinship with and why?"
Pigs, probably.  They'll eat anything and make use of what others throw away while thriving on it.

Wisp becomes distracted midway through your conversation by literally anything and points to something else in the room. "Would you look at that, isn't that neat?"
Everything in here is neat, I've never been inside a bar.

If you could get back any one thing you've lost what would it be?
I had a Phony doll with long hair I got for my birthday, but kids at school teased me for liking "girl things" and they destroyed it.  It was so cute, too, it was baby blue with glittering rainbow diamonds and powder blue hair.  It was what I thought angels would look like.


-------------------------------------------------

Hush Money
What is your opinion on ASMR?
I like the sound of crunching leaves and rain pattering on something soft like the tops of my recycling bins.  Does that count?

Would you consider yourself wealthy?
In terms of items that could be restored and turned for profit...?  Uuuuh, it usually breaks even, but it lets me continue my hobbies.

Do you think I'm the most beautiful mare in the room?  I'm a gamer girl, by the way.
It would be rude to say "no" and rude to others to say "yes".  I'm going to say "No one else compares with you", instead.

-------------------------------------------------

Blind Love
Have you ever been in-love before?
No.  Not really in love.  Crushes a'plenty, but not in love.

Do you ever see yourself settling down with someone?
Sure, I wouldn't mind.  They'd have to put up with my constant worrying about the environment, though.

What's your first memory?
Hitting my head on the top of the refrigerator because I was suddenly taller than other kids my age.

-------------------------------------------------

Kiwi Kiss
Oh no! An orc breaks into the restaurant! What do you do?
Tell him he could have just used the door like everyone else.

Describe your ideal first date!
Not at a bar.  I'd probably make them dinner myself.

What's your favorite fruit?
For you, I will say "Kiwi".


-------------------------------------------------

Knockout
DC or Marvel?
Who and who?

Name your top superhero or supervillain from any movie or tv genre.
I was afraid of The Penguin, when I was a kid.  The nose on the actor freaked me out more than anything else.

How would you feel if your partner wasn't necessarily a 'good phony'?
I'd be very upset if they hid the body in my workshop, I keep that place immaculate.

-------------------------------------------------

Tsunami Waves
How do you feel about water?
Love it, need it, please keep it clean!

What's your favorite thing to do at the beach?
I've never been, but I'd look for sea glass, driftwood, and probably take the metal detector.

Have you seen Chad?
There are so many Chads, I may have seen about a hundred just getting to this place.

-------------------------------------------------

Foxtrot
Do you like to dance?
I'm notoriously bad at it, so I've resigned myself to wiggling in one spot.

What is your ideal music to dance too?
I have nooooo idea.  I mostly listen to podcasts.

What relaxes you most?
I have this huge water trough that's supposed to be for watering cattle, but I bought it to sit in with tap water in the summer.  Sometimes I add bubble bath to get a laugh.

-------------------------------------------------

Encore
What's your favorite Pocket Monster type?
Water

What's your dream Pocket Monster team?
One Water, One Grass, One Fairy, One Steel, One Fire, and whatever Legendary is on that version.

How do you level up your mons?
Exp Share and the lead at level 100.

-------------------------------------------------

Country Kitchen
What is your favorite comfort food and why?
Oatmeal with marshmallows.  A little bit wholesome and a little bit pretty bad for you.

What simple pastimes do you enjoy?
Cleaning old toys in solutions and gently scrubbing away dirt and grime.

What is your favorite topping to put on potatoes?
Cheddar cheese.

-------------------------------------------------

Lemon Lime
Is MILF on your menu for tonight?
W-What...?

Tell me all about how you won your coolest gold medal, award or achievement.
I got a trophy once in high school for wrestling.

Who's your favorite sports team or sports player? Mine's Rumbling Rocket, a female three time gold medalist for Tennis Single's Match Tournaments.
I don't really watch sports, but I'll take recommendations.

-------------------------------------------------

Happy Endings
What is your favorite genre of book?
Adventure.

Fabio or Fabi-no?
Sure, I like Fabio.  Seems like a nice guy.

What's your love language?
Nostalgia, I suppose.

-------------------------------------------------

King Cock
Do you like and/or have hens?
I like hens, I don't keep any, though.

Which pellet mix do you think is the best?
My neighbor uses sorghum, but I don't know if it's for hens.

Free range or pasture-raised?
Free range, unless it's too dangerous.

-------------------------------------------------

Shrill X
Do you like to party?
I don't get invited to any.

Yell really loud for me. Do it. It's fun.
Uuuuum, okaaaay...

*straightens up to his full height, fills his lungs, and roars until the glass on his table shakes*

How do you feel about monogamy and why does it suck?
Objection, leading the witness. *laughs*  If all parties are consenting, of legal age, and are mentally prepared for such a scenario, then I see no problems with their relationship preferences.  As for me, I've never even had a significant other so I wouldn't know.

-------------------------------------------------

Sweet Bread
What's your favorite sandwich?
Pretzel bun and salami with loads of greens and maybe cheese.

Do you have any children of your own?
Not me.  I wouldn't mind, though, I like kids.

Have you ever loved someone before?
No, not yet.  Always time, it's never too late.

-------------------------------------------------

Expired Expectations
What is one food you could go without?
Anything really bitter.  Not sour, but bitter.

What do you look for in a partner?
Someone who'll put up with my concerns about the environment and global warming.

Why are you here?
I've never been out this far or had a relationship.  Wanted to see what happened.

-------------------------------------------------

Bijou Blend
What's your work life balance like?
It mixes in with itself, I handle recycling and I refurbish and restore things at home.

Out of the seven deadly sins, which one is yours?
Probably Envy.  I wish I could do so much more.

Coffee or tea?
Tea, I can grow it myself if I had to and the neighbor brings me some they grew fresh.

-------------------------------------------------

Fatal Attraction
How do you feel about horror movies?
I won't seek it out, but I'd watch one or two if someone invited me to one.

Would you love me forever and ever and ever?
I would want something I held dear to last as long as possible.

Would you find it weird if your partner dug through your trash?
Nope, that's what recycling is all about!  I do it as a job.

-------------------------------------------------

Paws Button
Do you enjoy wearing costumes?
I can't at work, it'd get too dirty.

If you could dress up as any fictional character who would you choose?
People used to say I should dress as Captain Planet.  I liked the Deku Tree, myself.

Have you made anything you're really proud of?
I restored this action figure that was in very bad condition to looking like new once.  I sold it for a bit.

-------------------------------------------------

Rough Shards
What is your ideal Sunday afternoon?
Being in my workshop restoring things.

How do you feel about rainy days?
I love them.  I like the way it muffles the sounds outside.

Where would you hide a present to keep it a surprise?
I can't reveal that, that's a secret.

-------------------------------------------------

Centaur Fold
Do you like hands on experiences?
Yep, absolutely.

"Wanna arm wrestle?" Centaur Fold slap down an arm to the table ready to challenge. He always makes use of the extra limbs.
I can regular wrestle, I got a trophy for it once.

"How do you feel about finger... foods?" Cent eyes the menu and winks.
Easy to make, lightweight, and usually more nutritious than fast food.

-------------------------------------------------

Kaiju Blue
If your destiny was to save the world, what threat would you be defending it against?
Carbon Footprints.

If you were on a monster-fighting team with your best friend, what would your team name and theme be, and what would your uniforms look like?
Probably something like knights in armor, paladins or something.  In shining silver and themed like sharks or maybe a sea serpent.  Save our oceans!

Would you rather go to the deep ocean or deep space, and why?
Deep ocean, definitely.  We have so much yet to discover on our own planet, first!

-------------------------------------------------

Nina
How do you stay in contact with your pals?
I don't have any.  I moved from my old home and never got around to making new friends.

How do you wind down after work?
Usually a bath or a shower before cooking dinner.

What's your sleep schedule like?
Kinda strict because I get up so early.
[/spoiler]

[Yasha]

Expired's Answers
(y'all I'm sorry he is in such a pissy mood. I love you, I promise. OTL)

[spoiler]
FRUIT PUNCH

Expired was not ready for this... The first brightly colored phony dripping with charm came up to him. Wasn't this the bartender? Exp tried his best not to be annoyed. New experience. New chances.

What's your favorite drink (alcoholic or non)?
"Sparkling water by day. Whiskey by night." He said polishing off his drink and raising it up. 

What brought you here tonight? Do you think you'll find true love or just a new friend?
He shrugged. "A new friend I guess."

Technically I'm off the menu. But if I wasn't... Talk dirty to me.
Expired squints. "That's not a question." He turns and continues on with his evening.

+++

BANANA CREME

Expired tried to clear his mind. Talk dirty... That's not even a question. He said riled up. He sat down with the next phony. Brightly colored but also somehow softer?

If you could be anywhere other than here tonight, where would you be?
He took a moment to think. Where would he rather be?? He finally gave a shrug. "I have no idea. I'd say anywhere but here, but honestly... I feel like nothing matters. So really it doesn't matter where I am." ((Smooth. Great first impression...))

I watch a lot of movies when I'm not making macarons and the like. What's your favorite movie genre, and why?
"I like Thrillers and Sci-fi... Suspension of disbelief is nice sometimes."

...What's your opinion on mares with a little more... junk in the trunk? This is purely for scientific research. That I'm interested in. Very important.
He blinked. Not as taken back by this question. At least it was a question. "Hmm. Butts are nice." He said in a very dry voice. It was hard to gauge his response but he gave a very slight smile and made his leave.

+++

TORTE BAR

Another mare. This one seemed to have a fiery personality. He sat down and introduced himself.

I like a GOOD, strong drink. What did ya get from the bar?
"Whiskey..." He said. He had just gotten his second glass. He wondered how many it would take to get through the rest of the night.

What's the most RECKLESS thing you've done? For legal purposes, don't tell me any crimes.
"I am not reckless."

Last, but not least! Sports?
"Mmmn, nope. Sorry." He said dryly. It seemed they didn't have much in common.

+++

SHIMMERING SEA

Next a seaphony. He wasn't sure if he had ever met one before. She smelled like the beach. That was kind of neat.

Do you enjoy hanging out on the beach at night?
"I am not a beach person. But maybe I would visit at night. Less people. Less heat." He shrugged a bit.

Do you have any hobbies? Mine's collecting shells from the beach - I have like, a gajillion of them!
"Mmn. Picked up knitting from one of my mom's. So I do that when I am feeling particularly wound up." He said feeling embarrassed.

Would you rather be the artist creating art for a showing or a spectator enjoying the gallery? There's no wrong answer!
"I would much rather be a spectator."

+++

HEAVENLY BODY

He was confused by how angelic the next pony looked. Why was she here??

What is the greatest adventure you've ever been on?
"I do not consider myself very adventurous. I don't have any stories for you there."

How comfortable are you around dead things?
"Mmn, I think death is a part of life. I think we have to respect that." He shrugged and sipped on his drink.


On a scale of one to ten, how coordinated are you?
"9? I am fairly careful."

+++

WISP

Next was an interesting one. She seemed to be 'blessed' with the same kind of extras, him and his siblings had... but she actually pulled hers off. She didn't look like a creep.

"What animal do you feel the most kinship with and why?"
"A chimera. Never met one but I feel all mashed together like a chimera so I think it fits."

Wisp becomes distracted midway through your conversation by literally anything and points to something else in the room. "Would you look at that, isn't that neat?"
He turns to squint at whatever she is pointing too. "Huh?? I don't see what you are looking at."

If you could get back any one thing you've lost what would it be?
He takes a long sip of his drink. "I don't miss anything... if it's out of my life there must be a reason for it."

+++

HUSH MONEY

Expired found the next single and was not prepared for whatever was about to happen. Why does she have a camera?? He wanted to turn tail.

What is your opinion on ASMR?
"It's fine." He lied. He liked it a lot but he was not interested in whatever this was.

Would you consider yourself wealthy?
"Oh yeah sure... Do you want my routing number? How about my social??"

Do you think I'm the most beautiful mare in the room?  I'm a gamer girl, by the way.
"I have never had such a foul taste in my mouth due to another and darling I am a food critic." He turned his nose to the 'gamer girl' and went on his way. His blog would surely be overrun with rabbid simps.

+++

BLIND LOVE

He took a deep breath. He was feeling some type of way but he didn't want to be angry the rest of the night. Next up was a very cute pony. She looked like a broken angel.

Have you ever been in-love before?
"Yes." He took a sip of his drink and left it at that.

Do you ever see yourself settling down with someone?
"No I don't. It feels like an unrealistic expectation."

What's your first memory?
"I remember bringing home some kind of art project home to one of my mom's. Her smile made my day." His answers felt short but precise.

+++

KIWI KISS

Next of a flutterphony. He found their small frames and buggy qualities charming.

Oh no! An orc breaks into the restaurant! What do you do?
"Mmn, leave. Call the police."

Describe your ideal first date!
"Nothing to do with food. Can't focus while thinking about work. Other than that I don't know. I am not very creative."

What's your favorite fruit?
"Durian. Smells terrible. Tastes great."

+++

KNOCKOUT

He was taken back by the next guy. His red coat was almost searing to look at but he was stringing. He wasn't sure if he liked guys or not but he was keeping an open mind tonight.

DC or Marvel?
"Can I say Dark Horse? I just like to follow a fritter storyline."

Name your top superhero or supervillain from any movie or tv genre.
"Hellboy. New movie was trash though."

How would you feel if your partner wasn't necessarily a 'good phony'?
"Mmn. I am no saint so I suppose that would be acceptable." He dipped his head and carried on with his evening.

+++

TSUNAMI WAVES

He blinked and suddenly he was in front of another single. Another sea phony, she had an interesting shell necklace pattern.

How do you feel about water?
"Not a fan" He waved his bread leg in air.

What's your favorite thing to do at the beach?
"Listen to the waves, but from a far. Like a seaside bnb or something."

Have you seen Chad?
"Who??" He shrugged and continued on.

+++

FOXTROT

Next was a small bouncy Phony. He liked her stars but could already tell he would t be able to match he energy this evening.

Do you like to dance?
He shook his head.

What is your ideal music to dance too?
This time he shrugged. "I don't dance."

What relaxes you most?
"Knitting, picked it up from one of my mom's. It helps to have something to do if I'm worked up. Better than drinking." He said polishing off his  second drink. Then went to order another.

+++

SHOCKSTAR

Next up was a yellow fellow. He also seemed to have a lot of spirit.

What's your favorite Pocket Monster type?
"I haven't played myself but I would probably enjoy poison types."

What's your dream Pocket Monster team?
"I would need to further research this."

How do you level up your mons?
"I assume battles. Lots and lots of grinding battles." He said curiously if that's really all the phony wanted to know. Then nodded respectfully and left.

+++

REGRIND

Next was a large phony but also looked dainty with his curled locks. He smiled. He probably trades hair secrets with Rosewrite.

What are your feelings on renewable energy/resources?
"I have no strong opinions."

Would you eat lab created meat/food?
"I would love to try some. I find the concept interesting."

Do you think Phonyland is energy efficient?
"Are there any frames of reference to compare Phonyville too?" He sipped on his drink ready for whatever environmental monologue could be coming his way.

+++

COUNTRY KITCHEN

Next seemed like a good ol' boy. Not his type but was certainly easier to talk too than the alicorn in the room.

What is your favorite comfort food and why?
"My mom's garlic bread." Just thinking about it made him make a note that a spaghetti dinner night needed to happen soon.

What simple pastimes do you enjoy?
"I enjoy knitting." He shrugged. How many people was he going to admit this to tonight?

What is your favorite topping to put on potatoes?
"Garlic butter. But potatoes are good in lots of ways." Exp gave a wave and continued on.

+++

LEMON LIME

Next was a mare. Soft and sweet looking but had quite the attitude. They didn't seemed impressed with any of the males in the room.

Is MILF on your menu for tonight?
He stared and waited for the next question.

Tell me all about how you won your coolest gold medal, award or achievement.
"I've been mentioned in news articles. That's cool I guess."

Who's your favorite sports team or sports player? Mine's Rumbling Rocket, a female three time gold medalist for Tennis Single's Match Tournaments.
"Hmm. Interesting. I don't care for sports."

+++

HAPPY ENDINGS

Her continued and his next match was a dashing flutter phony. Was one of his hooves transparent. Hard to tell in this light.

What is your favorite genre of book?
"Thriller... sci-fi... that kind of stuff."

Fabio or Fabi-no?
"Does this mean anything to you?" He gave a shrug.

What's your love language?
"Mmn. I don't know. I don't do well with that type of stuff." Physical touch. He longed for it but made him wildly uncomfortable to say.

+++

KING COCK

Another unique phony. He appreciated the weirdos coming out tonight. Nice to know it wasn't just him.

Do you like and/or have hens?
"Oh no way. I'm afraid they will go right for my leg." He said waving his bread arm again.

Which pellet mix do you think is the best?
He shrugged. "I'm sure you could tell me."

Free range or pasture-raised?
"What makes eggs taste better?" He said sipping on his drink honestly curious about this little dude.

+++

SHRILL X

He continued on with his night and found himself with another wild phony. This one was a DJ?

Do you like to party?
"Em, this is about as wild as I get." He said rather dryly.

Yell really loud for me. Do it. It's fun.
"No thank you." He sipped on his drink.

How do you feel about monogamy and why does it suck?
He cocked an eyebrow. He hadn't thought about that. "Hmm. Interesting..."

+++

SWEET BREAD

He sighed heavily as he found his mom in this crazy bar. "I'm ready to go home." He said feeling defeated. He practiced his questions on her but she didn't share hers. Time passed by quickly. Back to the event.

+++

BIJOU

He bumped into a pegasus. Why is she wearing a tiara? Must be a brat.

What's your work life balance like?
"I'm very devoted to work right now... but aren't all single people." He said with acute snark.

Out of the seven deadly sins, which one is yours?
"Now that's an interesting question. Envy." He did not elaborate.

Coffee or tea?
"A little of both."

+++

FATAL ATTRACTION

He stopped and was thrown to a new phony. He lifted a brow. A strange one, but not physically strange like him. He nodded.

How do you feel about horror movies?
"I'm a fan. Saw Wrong Turn 7 recently. That was fun. What was the last one you saw?"

Would you love me forever and ever and ever?
He turned his head and squinted. "We are all searching for someone whose demons play well with our own." He was curious if she was off-her-rocker or genuine. ((Tried to come up with a Gomez Adams quote here. But he ain't slick enough for that anyway.))

Would you find it weird if your partner dug through your trash?
"Nah, not sure you would find anything interesting." He left unsure of how that went but he was interested in meeting her again.

+++

PAWS BUTTON

Expired continued with his night. Next was another bubbly phony.

Do you enjoy wearing costumes?
"Mmmn, I did dress up as Hellboy once. That was fun." 

If you could dress up as any fictional character who would you choose?
"Oh, a Xenomorph that would be crazy awesome..."

Have you made anything you're really proud of?
He thinks about it. "No I don't think so..." he said and finished his third drink feeling kind of solemn.

+++

ROUGH SHARDS

He debated on another drink. But we was probably at his limit. He didn't want to be a sad drunk. Next was a rather large male. He was kind of nervous.

What is your ideal Sunday afternoon?
"I would like to have a big early dinner with my family. Spaghetti and garlic bread. Then fall asleep in a armchair to nap.

How do you feel about rainy days?
"Very good. I like to stay in next to a fireplace."

Where would you hide a present to keep it a surprise?
"Hmm... creaky floorboard covered up by a rug. That would be neat."

+++

CENTAUR FOLD

Up next. He blocked and suddenly there was... um a centaur? How curious.

Do you like hands on experiences?
"Uuuh. Yes?"

"Wanna arm wrestle?" Centaur Fold slap down an arm to the table ready to challenge. He always makes use of the extra limbs.
"No not at all." He shook his head very intimidated.

"How do you feel about finger... foods?" Cent eyes the menu and winks.
Exp finally cracked a laugh. "Depends on the chef. I am picky."

+++

KAIJU BLUE

He continued not feeling as low after the last encounter. Next was another pegasus. Exp had to admit he looked like a badass...

If your destiny was to save the world, what threat would you be defending it against?
"Defending the world?? Nah. I'm not a bad guy but I'm definitely not the good guy."

If you were on a monster-fighting team with your best friend, what would your team name and theme be, and what would your uniforms look like?
He gave a shrug. "Seems cheesy?"

Would you rather go to the deep ocean or deep space, and why?
"Space. I prefer to stay away from water. So deep sea wouldn't be a no for me."

+++

NINA

Lastly he found Nina. What a peculiar name.

How do you stay in contact with your pals?
"I would probably just text them to see how they are doing. I don't have many that are close to me."

How do you wind down after work?
"I like to drink and sit by a fire and think mostly."

What's your sleep schedule like?
"Average, depends on work. Usually 6-8hrs."

+++[/spoiler]