Messages

King sighed. The kid's indoor voice could use some work. Still, it was hard to berate her for being excited. Though he really, really didn't know what to do about her asserting she was home.

He couldn't help but to think about what would happen if she turned out to be one of the many foals who didn't have parents, or a stable to go to. Then what? Toss her back on the street? Just to find her on the lawn again later? Or, worse, to never see her again? And whatever happened was because he couldn't be bothered?

If he kept staring in the middle distance about this, the eggs would burn.

"Scrambled, got it."

The pegasus did the rest of the cooking in relative silence. He clung to the routine of it.

His life was all about that; doing one thing resulted in another. There were steps, protocols, guidelines, whatever you wanted to call it.

His business was very rote. He took chickens, he cared for them in very precise steps, he gave them back.

And now there was a child in his care. Who very well could be there after hours, or even beyond that.

He didn't have to make a decision on the spot, he knew that much, but he couldn't ignore the potential gravity of the situation.

All he could do was keep trying to make her talk.

The eggs went onto a plate, then onto the table.

"There's salt, pepper, ketchup. Whatever you want to put on 'em."

King himself definitely needed some coffee.

@Ruriska

Fair Pace's attention instantly returned to the colt as Paladin began speaking. Pace was a professional, after all.

He listened with interest. It surprised him some to hear a child speak so much like an adult. Measured volume, a full vocabulary, politeness. Not often in his line of work did he see all three things in a foal. How pleasant, indeed.

"How kind of you!" he responded in delight. "I could always use more canvases."

The older of the two inserted herself into the conversation, and Fair Pace glanced at her. She could not seem to help herself... But who was to say if it was because of interest or because, like many, she might be a helicopter...relation, of some sort. None of these things were his to presume.

"Here we are indeed," Pace gave a little chuckle at Blind Love's personable anecdote. "What serendipity for things to work out this way; and to think that my name is making the rounds! How humbling. One could blush."

He definitely, for sure, was putting on airs a little. You don't stay in business without a little flair and charm here and there.

"These will work wonders for my next project. But I can't leave you empty-hoofed. A gardener gives thanks by sharing their first harvest; it is only right that I give mine by painting some of these just for you. Is there anything you would want to see? A design, a theme? A palette? Don't be shy, now."

@Nym

He hadn't jumped into the mingling crowd with any amount of gusto, despite his intentions to do so. He wasn't even in the crowd at all; King was off to the side, taking a breather. His stomach kept knotting up, and he wasn't sure if the bar was spinning. Was it hot in here or was that just him?

There were phonies he had wanted to chat up more, plenty, even, but some were more...well, male than he anticipated. And there were some utterly odd characters about. The baguette arm haunted him so.

He was still kind of reeling when he heard someone call out to him.

Oh, sweet Jesus, one of the cute mares was chatting him up. Keep it cool, King.

"Uh...yeah. I mean- wait- no. I'm okay, I'm okay."

Ouch, his pride, someone thinking he was hurt.

Then someone else yelled his name during a spat, and he just chuckled. Cool. Meant he was memorable. More points for Roostro.

"You don't have to fight anyone, cat...girl." The only suspect was the cider, and he couldn't imagine that going anywhere. "Nice of you to offer, though."

He could definitely appreciate another phony not much taller than himself being so scrappy. Something to connect over, maybe.

"You play knight in shining armor often, sugarloaf?"

@cursedwanderer

[NEW PET CERT]

[spoiler]NEW PET CERT
Username: Gl!tch~
Name of Owner: King Cock
Name of Pet: Dove
Link to Pet: Boop

Pet Species: Chicken
Pet Gender: F
Acquisition: Easter 2021

Certed - M[/spoiler]

[What's your favorite drink (alcoholic or non)?]

[spoiler]

Fruit Punch

King frowned a little at the first Phony on the docket. The pegasus wasn't here to swoon stallions. He sneered a little at the competition in front of him. Though, he had to admit, Fruit Punch's mane was pretty slick...

What's your favorite drink (alcoholic or non)?
"When I'm not tossin' back egg yolks to get beefy, I do like havin' the occasional cider. The stallion-y kind." He puffed up all masculine-like. It was more adorable than he realized.

What brought you here tonight? Do you think you'll find true love or just a new friend?
He cocked his head with a bemused stare. What a weird, weird question. Anyone who was at a mixer just to make friends deserved to get their rumps pecked until they couldn't sit.

"I'm here to pick up ladies," he explained, slowly, as if Fruit Punch was slow on the uptake.

Technically I'm off the menu. But if I wasn't... Talk dirty to me.

King looked Fruit Punch's white flanks up and down. "You look too clean for that, son."

Banana Creme

Now this was more like it! A fine mare with a beautiful wind-swept mane and- wait why did she have stripes on her legs like the last guy

If you could be anywhere other than here tonight, where would you be?
"Think I'd be out in an open field, lookin' up at all the stars and knowin' they wouldn't compare to the lady I'm with." Wink.

I watch a lot of movies when I'm not making macarons and the like. What's your favorite movie genre, and why?
He had to think. What was the last movie he watched? Was it Chicken Run? "Action comedies," he decided. "Laughs and adrenaline go real well together, don't ya think?" Eyebrow wiggle eyebrow wiggle.

...What's your opinion on mares with a little more... junk in the trunk? This is purely for scientific research. That I'm interested in. Very important.
"Uh huh." The coy was not lost on the King. He leaned on the table. "Let's just say I like me a challenge once in a while."

Torte Bar

This mare looked feisty. And a pegasus! Feathers. Nice.

I like a GOOD, strong drink. What did ya get from the bar?
He looked at his cider. Good? Yes. Strong? Eh. "I'm just gettin' started," King lied. He was not about to mix a hang-over and Scrambled together.

What's the most RECKLESS thing you've done? For legal purposes, don't tell me any crimes.
"Uhhh..." He thought back to the whole Roostro deal. Those were all crimes if not sins, he was pretty sure.

"Givin' my number before asking any questions, clearly." Smooth save? Smooth save.

Last, but not least! Sports?
"Yes unless you want it to be no, ma'am."

Shimmering Sea

A cute mare next. With a little fish tail! One of those mers he'd heard about. Her large eyes were entrancing.
Do you enjoy hanging out on the beach at night?
"With a cute mare like yourself I might." Wink!

Do you have any hobbies? Mine's collecting shells from the beach - I have like, a gajillion of them!
"Shells are...nice... I collect hens. And hen accessories."

Wait, that wasn't smooth enough.

"And the occasional heart, if I'm lucky." Wink! !!!

Would you rather be the artist creating art for a showing or a spectator enjoying the gallery? There's no wrong answer!
King looked her up and down, slowwwlym while sipping his drink. "Spectator."

Heavenly Body

Wow. Talk about wow. Gorgeous and huge. He almost choked on his drink. Jack! Pot!
What is the greatest adventure you've ever been on?
"Just lookin' at you, babe. Don't think I even knew what an adventure was until just. Now."

How comfortable are you around dead things?
Aaand the mood came to a screeching halt. "Uh. I'll get back to you on that."

On a scale of one to ten, how coordinated are you?
Yes! One last chance to get past that little stumble. "10. As stable as a rooster. You ever see one of those tip over? I don't think so. I can prove it whenever you'd like." Yet again, a wink.

Willow Wisp

Not as thrilling on sight as his last customer, but who would be? Still, she was pretty cute with that unkempt bob and little fangs.

"What animal do you feel the most kinship with and why?"
He puffed his chest out, happy to show off. "A rooster. Clearly. We both rule the roost and drive chicks wild."

Wisp becomes distracted midway through your conversation by literally anything and points to something else in the room. "Would you look at that, isn't that neat?"
"Hm?" King looked over to see a wayward mop leaning against the wall. He guessed she needed a little help. "Not as much as your smile, sugar."

If you could get back any one thing you've lost what would it be?
He twirled his cider even though it was in a bottle. "Bein' big enough to stomp Phony City to the ground again would be nice." King paused. "Or my childhood, I guess."

Hush Money

Hello. A lovely mare dressed up and taking this mixer seriously, with beautiful- wait, was she talking to a camera right now? Was she a celebrity or something?
What is your opinion on ASMR?
King did not know how to handle being broadcasted. "Uh... It helps my hens when they're having trouble getting to sleep..."

Would you consider yourself wealthy?
Ohhhhh. She was one of those. King was just about ready to pass on gold-digging. He didn't have to bribe Phonies for affection (hens, however...).

"Ma'am, I run a daycare. I'll let you do the math."

Do you think I'm the most beautiful mare in the room?  I'm a gamer girl, by the way.
He sipped from a now-empty bottle. Posturing was an important art in and of itself. "I'd say top three. Don't think I can afford you, though. Sorry, hun."

Blind Love

Next he sat with a sweet-looking sort. Conventional compared to the last few mares. She was rather pretty, though, and they were both drinking apple products. Connection?
Have you ever been in-love before?
"Not in the normal fashion, no." He still dreamed of being taller than a skyscraper. If he got anymore buzzed he might start getting teared up about it. "But I do know what it's like to love n' lose. Tears your heart right out, I'll tell you what."

Do you ever see yourself settling down with someone?
King imagined himself being surrounded by mares like a flock of hens. "I'd say somethin' like that is the goal, but until then..." He gave her some very unsubtle bedroom eyes.

What's your first memory?
"Before meeting you? Walking around in a trench coat as a...foal...with a few others. You know. Cute, wholesome stuff." A deeeeep swig from the empty bottle.

Kiwi Kiss

Oh, wow, someone smaller than him! She looked so peppy, too! That brought his mood right back up.
Oh no! An orc breaks into the restaurant! What do you do?
"Someone breakin' into the place should be handled by the owners and the authorities. But if you need someone to protect you..." Wink.

Then he stage-whispered, "Are orcs bad guys? Is that what's goin' on?"

Describe your ideal first date!
He felt like he answered something similar enough to this that he could easily state, "Being out in an open field with a pretty mare. Though, maybe a picnic would make it perfect..." Mares liked those, right?

What's your favorite fruit?
"Apples are pretty good."

Knockout

Blast it all, he was hoping that there was just a mix-up and it was smooth sailing with mares from here on out... And then another stallion came in. His mood tanked. Even if he had a very nice mane, and if you squinted he kind of looked like a mare, it still wasn't someone he hoped to meet tonight. Also why was his cutie mark a tooth? And why did he also have stripes on his leg like those other two Phonies?
DC or Marvel?
"Don't know, don't care." Sip.

Name your top superhero or supervillain from any movie or tv genre.
He scrunched his face up to think.

Then he said, "Rocky."

How would you feel if your partner wasn't necessarily a 'good phony'?
King laughed at his own checkered past. "I'd feel in pretty good company, all things considered."

Tsunami Waves

Another cutie! Maybe the organizer finally caught on to what King was looking for.
How do you feel about water?
"I like to drink it. Swim in it. It's pretty cool and refreshing, like you." Wiiiink.

What's your favorite thing to do at the beach?
"Sand castles, of course."

Have you seen Chad?
King squinted in confusion at that question. "I...don't think I have? Why? Are we gonna have to have words?" He got a little puffed up. He would fight this Chad! And win!

((My Grubhub driver today was named Chad, does that count))

Foxtrot

The next mare looked very cute indeed! And she wasn't too much taller than him, to boot.
Do you like to dance?
"I've got two left hooves," he admitted. "But maybe you could help n we could...dance the night away?"

What is your ideal music to dance too?
"Something slow n' soft...maybe a little sensual, too."

What relaxes you most?
"Peace and quiet after a loooong day."

Shockstar

More stallions, more problems. And he had a weird tail. And the cat made his eyes hurt. Hopefully the questions would do something for King. They could at least distract from the color nightmare feline.
What's your favorite Pocket Monster type?
"I...Pocket? Monster? Are those like little gremlins you tuck in with your wallet?"

What's your dream Pocket Monster team?
"I dream of not having gremlins in my pants, if I wore 'em."

How do you level up your mons?
"How do I what now."

Regrind

Ah! The next mare looked absolutely dashing, he looked forward to getting to know- wait, no, this one was also a dude. But a very pretty dude. King could not say in confidence that he was completely disinterested...
What are your feelings on renewable energy/resources?
"They'd cut back on electric bills. And windmills look pretty scenic, don't you think?" Then he mumbled into his empty bottle "You'vegotprettyhairbytheway."

Would you eat lab created meat/food?
King slammed his bottle down. "Yes! That would solve so many of my problems! If it's not real chicken you can't feel bad when you eat it!"

Whoa, now, volume control. Reel it in, tiger. He slunk down in his seat. Cleared his throat. No more air-drinks for him.

Do you think Phonyland is energy efficient?
"I hate to say that's outta my wheelhouse, babe."

Wait did he just call another stallion babe? Could he...maybe go to the bathroom and never come back out out of sheer embarrassment?

Country Kitchen

King definitely felt like he was dying and what was worse was that this stallion was definitely also a little pretty. But he didn't even look feminine? There must have been something wrong with the cider. Had to be it.
What is your favorite comfort food and why?
King took a breath. Time to remind himself that he was in control. "Eggs in any form, the easier the better. And I'm pretty good at making 'em. Uh huh."

What simple pastimes do you enjoy?
"Spreading pellet out for the hens... Drinking a cup of coffee after chores... That simple enough for you, sunshine? Because I can keep goin'."

What is your favorite topping to put on potatoes?
"Bacon. No contest. Shame I'm trying to be a vegetarian for the kid..."

Lemon Lime

A break from his crisis! Phew! With a lovely mare with blond, windswept hair and stripes- hey now, was every other Phony here some kind of clone or something?
Is MILF on your menu for tonight?
"Only if DILF's on yours, sweet cheeks."

Tell me all about how you won your coolest gold medal, award or achievement.
"Once I was the biggest Phony to ever live. Mind if I get up and get a water real quick?"

Who's your favorite sports team or sports player? Mine's Rumbling Rocket, a female three time gold medalist for Tennis Single's Match Tournaments.
King's eyes crossed. He was not prepare for in-depth sports questions. "She sounds hot, so I think you picked a winner."

Happy Endings

King started picking at his water just in time for another date. Another pretty stallion. Now he was going at the water with gusto. And essentially sweating all of it out. Why were so many of the stallions here so unusually attractive?
What is your favorite genre of book?
"Hen care books, mostly. That's a genre, I think."

Fabio or Fabi-no?
"Fabi-whoa, am I right?"

What's your love language?
"The language of seduction!" The stallion had no idea what an actual love language was.

Shrill X

A mare! With a rocking comb! He could dig it.
Do you like to party?
"Babe, I am the party," he boasted.

Yell really loud for me. Do it. It's fun.
On demand, he crowed. "That felt real good," he said after.

How do you feel about monogamy and why does it suck?
"Right?" King raised his water in a sympathetic toast. "More mares means more fun!"

Sweet Bread

A very pretty mare with lots of hair! King dug it very much.
What's your favorite sandwich?
"One with you, me, and a wall." Wink timne. "But when I'm home... Peanut butter and jelly suits just fine."

Do you have any children of your own?
"Er..." Well, it wasn't impossible for a question like that to come up. "I am...long-term baby-sitting, yeah. Kid's precious, though. Don't regret finding her on my lawn."

Have you ever loved someone before?
"Oh, that other pink mare asked me somethin' like that. I haven't really loved a lot of people, but experiences. And I'm always lookin' for more experiences to love." Wiiiiink.

Expired Expectations

1. Why did this stallion have blood on him.
2. Why was his arm a baguette? A baguette? It looked real?!
Something, officially, had to be wrong with that cider. King started clucking a little in distress.
What is one food you could go without?
"Not bread. Your arm is bread. Son, are you okay?"

What do you look for in a partner?
"Your arm is bread."

Why are you here?
"For a good time. What happened to your arm, though?!"

Bijou Blende

Phew. A return to relative normalcy. King unfluffed his feathers. Hopefully the water wasn't also tainted. This mare was another cute one, and he liked the crown especially.
What's your work life balance like?
"Everyday from morning to evening I run a daycare. It's very busy, but my nights are pretty free." Wink!

Out of the seven deadly sins, which one is yours?
"Gluttony...for pretty things like yourself."

Coffee or tea?
"I love a good black cup every morn, especially after a good night before."

Fatal Attraction

Whoa, mama. King refused to believe this mare was here just to make friends with that get-up. And, fortunately for the both of them, neither was he.
How do you feel about horror movies?
"I think I saw a Thanksgiving one once. I didn't get the appeal but it was in the dollar bin, so. Maybe I just need to see more...?" Eyebrow waggle?

Would you love me forever and ever and ever?
"If you've got the stamina, ma'am."

Would you find it weird if your partner dug through your trash?
King shrugged. "Everyone else already does."

Paws Button

King wasn't sure what to think. This mare seemed more like a cute younger sister than a dating partner. He would have to think about it.
Do you enjoy wearing costumes?
"Not really, but I do enjoy putting my hens in dresses once in a while."

If you could dress up as any fictional character who would you choose?
He knew the answer immediately. "Rocky."

Have you made anything you're really proud of?
"A warm and loving home for my hens and kiddo."

Rough Shards

King had to crane his neck to see his next customer. Now that was a stallion. He was too amazed at the size to worry too much about if he was attracted to the green giant or not.
What is your ideal Sunday afternoon?
"Making lunch while listening to the radio then taking a walk with the hens and kiddo."

How do you feel about rainy days?
"It means muddy chickens, but what can you do?"

Where would you hide a present to keep it a surprise?
He cocked his head. "In...the closet...?"

Centaur Fold

Oh god oh no oh god he thought the cider hallucinations were over. What in the fresh cluck was this? The stallion had amazing locks and a pretty face, but...arms? Arms! Was anyone else seeing this?
Do you like hands on experiences?
King's face scrunched up like he was ready to cry. "I'd prefer hooves...personally."

"Wanna arm wrestle?" Centaur Fold slap down an arm to the table ready to challenge. He always makes use of the extra limbs.
"You seem nice but this is a lot to take in after bread-arm-guy. Please." He was begging now

"How do you feel about finger... foods?" Cent eyes the menu and winks.
"Bud, I wish I had your self-confidence."

Kaiju Blue

King was still reeling. He didn't even care that another stallion came over. One who didn't even have a long mane. The electric blue was something to envy, though.
If your destiny was to save the world, what threat would you be defending it against?
"Science gone horribly wrong. And maybe chicken-haters."

If you were on a monster-fighting team with your best friend, what would your team name and theme be, and what would your uniforms look like?
King basked in the good, coping thoughts about Princess. His star hen. His little angel.

"We'd be called Chicken Run and we'd be chicken-themed...and I don't believe we'd need any uniforms." They already matched as-is.

Would you rather go to the deep ocean or deep space, and why?
"Wherever there's less weird nonsense, please and thanks."

Nina

One final mare to end the night. Phew. She seemed nice. The rat-tail-mohawk was an interesting change of pace.
How do you stay in contact with your pals?
"Clucks, mainly."

How do you wind down after work?
"Cooking. Cuddlin' on the couch. I am very good at both."

What's your sleep schedule like?
"Up when the rooster crows," he said with great pride.[/spoiler]

Bright Gallery didn't know how she got here. She remembered saying yes when Pace asked her to go somewhere with him (he never asked usually), and now she was...overwhelmed. That was the word. So much noise, so much movements, so much stuff. And the smells! And the lights! She didn't know the term, but she was definitely dissociating.

"Uh...."

@Ruriska

Fair Pace hated loud and/or sudden noises. Bright Gallery, by contrast, was outright terrified of them. And Pace was getting to his wit's end about it. He could sympathize with wanting to listen to soft shows and music compared to the alternative, but a door slamming made her hide in the attic for a hot minute. And don't even get him started on fireworks. Who didn't like fireworks? The filly who hid under the bleachers and cried all the way home, that's who.

Pace still felt bad about it.

And the guilt was annoying.

So tonight, he would try something else.

He would try...the Midway.

Fair Pace claimed that it was loud sometimes but not always. And they had a little thing called earplugs for when it was. Hopefully, the kid would have some popcorn and enjoy some daring-do on display.

But first they had to get to the show.

The path was busy, the first problem. Bright Gallery didn't handle crowds well. So he had to hold her hoof as they flew along.

"Do you see anything you like?" he prompted. "Any food, or games?"

She felt the presence of someone nearby. The filly tried to brush it off; stores were where people congregated. As Fair Pace said, she couldn't hide behind him in public. And shouldn't hide behind anything else, either. She had to be brave.

So, she only jolted a little bit when a voice piped up. It took her a second to realize they were speaking to her, and she froze up.

"Um... Um..." WWFPD: What Would Fair Pace Do? Bright Gallery took a breath. "Yes," she said, affecting an accent. "It's very...erm...colors. Yes, that." Okay, that was silly. And dumb. She immediately dropped what little airs she tried to affect.

"It's...it's very pretty." It took a lot of effort for her hooves to not start shaking, between having no idea how to talk to people and feeling like an utter maroon for trying.

@zippedsiren

She followed along, though found some trouble in her efforts. Her little hooves struggled to perfectly mimic Bee Sweet's form. She had to reach out so much farther to get to the edge of the pan. Hopefully...no one would mind if...

Bright Gallery flapped her wings and flew up some to grant better purchase. As she reached, tongue sticking out a little in effort, the pan wobbled, and she gasped and caught it before it could fall. It still clanged a little on the table, though. Hopefully no one would notice...

@Nym

Pace looked up from his work; a slow, graceful movement. His eyes fluttered open and close, showcasing some surprise at being referred to by name. He wasn't used to being sought out, especially once spring came and went. "I am, in fact. A pleasure to meet you. How can I help you this fine day?" the flutter asked in a soft, nearly-quiet voice.

He glanced over at the eye-catching mare scooting up by the foal. Same pink flanks, same yellow eyes. They had to be related.

"And a good morning to you, as well, miss," he acknowledged with a nod.

@Nym

A breeze drifted through on a nice, sunny day. What perfect day for many things, like flying a kite, or having a picnic.

Or busking wares, like Fair Pace was.

He would have picked at his hoof-crafted merchandise a bit more, but the empty fridge told him that he didn't have the time. So, here he was, with a table set up on the side of a bustling avenue, pace eggs displayed in fancy bowls, while he busied his hooves working on some new eggs in the meantime (or else he would never leave his old pieces alone).

The arts and crafts store! A wonderful place with fake plants, mediocre candles, and the good markers! There were so many options, so many aisles... But not only supplies could pull at a foal's attention.

For instance, Bright Gallery was currently flipping through the poster-sized prints. All the art styles and colors made her wide eyes open ever wider. They were l so different, so unique, and she wanted them for her room.

But Fair Pace had said she could only get one. No choices were immediately coming to mind, though, and she couldn't even figure out a top three! So the flipping continued, cyclically, possibly forever.

"Good girl," he praised. King led her into the daycare and shut the door behind them. "Make yourself at home, darlin'."

The pegasus cantered to the kitchen, pulled some things from here and there, and started cooking up some eggs. He even let the radio play an old crooner to fill any lingering silence.

"So," King said after a few minutes, "You got a name, kid? And how do you like your eggs?"

@Ruriska

Bright Gallery had set up then re-set up then re-re set up. She didn't want to do it wrong! But she wasn't sure if she was doing it right!

The filly had helped in the kitchen before; when your family works with eggs, inevitably you learn how to crack them, whisk them, and scramble them (with supervision). But she was a bit of a stranger to measurements. What she did know from Fair Pace's soft baking shows he tended to play in the background while working was that baking was supposed to be precise, and tablespoons and teaspoons were very different. And she didn't want to be voted off the show! Er...out of class!

As she started to fret, she looked over at her neighbor. Part of her really, really wanted to ask if he thought her set-up was right, but she struggled to get the words out. Instead, she just started to copy what Bee Sweet was doing, from set-up to the tapping.

King had hens and a foal back home to keep an eye on, but he had put the hens in the coop for the night, and as for the foal... It was good to let kids roam the roost once in a while, right? As a trust exercise? Or something? King didn't know for sure, but he wasn't about to baby Scrambled. One night out wouldn't kill anybody.

The little pegasus felt the need to mingle anyway. His life was turning entirely business, and a bit fatherly, as of late. So he didn't really get to talk up the mares. And how could a rooster stallion coast through life ignoring that impulse?

So, like many others, he strode in with all the confidence in the world. It didn't matter that so many others were taller than him, or already seemed to have the best spots and poses as they waited for the event to start. He still had the best-combed crest mane. Uh-huh.

Drink in hoof, he was going to kill it tonight.

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[color=brown][b]Do you like and/or have hens?[/b][/color]
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[color=brown][b]Which pellet mix do you think is the best?[/b][/color]
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[color=brown][b]Free range or pasture-raised?[/b][/color]
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