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Messages - moonstonedazzle

#1
With her mother's warm face and kind words, Sanctuary knew she would be alright. It was easy, in the moment, to forget the place she'd been. The people who had wanted to make a pretty family of pretty ponies. Wanted her to wear dresses, play silly games. This was home. She was home. Even as her mama and papa spoke, Sanctuary felt herself slipping away. This feeling, this place? This wasn't the dream anymore. This was real. This was home. Bit by bit her breathing evened out, slowed down, and Sanctuary fell asleep.

"I..." The words felt so paltry to Lance, now. So insincere. There wasn't an answer really for the question that abated the guilt, the shame. Even in his own ears it sounded like a lie. A hollow pleasantry to make her feel better. Like he had gone off to do something wrong, and was scrambling for a pretty lie to make it better. It... He could have fought harder. Tried harder. Bucked and kicked and thrown his weight into it every hour of every day. But he'd just been so, so tired.

Lance hung his head in shame.

"I had gone to get you a ring. And one of my sponsors... Had other plans," he recalled, the words dry in his throat. It was a million years ago, a lifetime away, and it was just yesterday. He could still see the stores, could feel the things he'd felt... And yet.

"I had thought Sanctuary would help me pick out the best one. Something beautiful, just like you deserved. If I had known..." If he could've saved her, he would've. Given his life for hers and he would have, again and again. He let out a shaken sigh, feeling like he could melt.

"It was a performance. Ignore the fact you're trapped here, smile and laugh, pretend to be a happy family. The people want you to be happy."

He looked up to her, barely able to maintain the eye contact, and looked away.

"I should've fought harder. Done more to break down the gates and the walls. I'm... I'm so sorry."
#2
I'm a phonyREAL hero!
Moonstone Dazzle will be playing Ready to Mingle!
#3
"O-okay, mama. Okay," Sanctuary hiccupped, trying to wrap her arms tighter around her mother. If she never let go, she would never lose her again. They would always be together. She could have a real life. See her brothers again. The thought was comforting, something that could help her calm down again. She was okay. She was okay. With every breath, the hiccups subsided and she felt calmer. Safer. The longer she could hold on, the more real her mother was. The less likely she was to wake up and have this all be a terrible, horrible dream. She even smelled the same, just as good as she remembered.

She blinked up as she was tucked into bed, a quick fumble of her hooves as she reached out for Blind Love one more time. But no. No. It was okay. She was okay. Mama wasn't going anywhere. There wasn't any nasty, fake moms at the end of this dream. Papa had run, and run, and run some more, and they were home now. They were home. Another deep breath, and she could feel her eyes growing heavy. A surprising tiredness she hadn't felt before.

"'m sleepy," she mumbled, like it was a great revelation. But just... smelling mama, being here. She felt so happy, so safe, that she could just nod off and it would all be okay for ever and ever.

"Yes," Lance answered, snapping more upright from his exhaustion at his name being called. He regarded her openly, the weariness on his face. It just felt so good to see her, to see Sanctuary, safe and together. He had done something right for it, at least. He had saved his daughter, and found his way back home. As he took the moment to just stare at her, to remember what it felt like to see Blind Love, to drink down the details of her face and to fall in love with her all over again... there was the strangest feeling. On top of the exhaustion, the tiredness, he felt... sorrow. Tears spilling down his face openly, despite the lack of words to accompany them. The lack of the apologies, the things he couldn't say. Couldn't explain. Several times he opened his mouth, gaped, and found himself closing it once more.

Instead, he came to her as he called, finding her side and burying his face against her neck.

"I missed you. There wasn't a day that went by I didn't miss you. I'm so sorry."
#4
Sanctuary seemed to immediately be calmed by her mother's hold, burying herself into her fur and mane even more. It didn't matter that mama was crying, that mama was holding her too tightly. What mattered was that it was mama. Her real mama, the one she remembered and dreamt about. Her own house, her own room. The tormented wailing subsided, turning to a gentler, quieter cry. All she could do was think I'm home, I'm home, I'm home.

Just Lance watched them, the war drum of his heart at last calming down. For all he had failed them- his daughter, his... His... whatever Blind Love was to him, now (did she live here alone? Was she seeing anyone? Had she started over, trying to make a new life for herself...?), He had made it back to her. More important, their daughter was back to her. He let himself feel some relief at the sight. What was a touching reunion on surface, something to be cheered and celebrated.

But what right did he have to that joy? His hardest fight hadn't been enough. Every attempt at cleverness had kept them bound longer, every show of strength had fallen short. Something in him knew it was not entirely his fault- he had not chosen to go, had not wanted to stay- but couldn't he have done more? Shouldn't he have done more? True love was meant to conquer all, and yet he had failed his love.

Did he even deserve to love her, now? To look fondly on Blind Love and their time together at all?

He came when Blind Love reached out to him, slotting himself against her and closing his eyes. How cruel that this still felt so perfect. That after all these years, he still melted into this touch. Just Lance sighed quietly, not letting him dwell too much in her, even if he wanted nothing more.

"Y-yes. We can. I'll. I'll follow you. Wherever you want us, I'll follow." It sounded like too much and it sounded too hollow in his ears. He turned to look at Blind with a shaky smile.

"Lead the way."
#5
As soon as she was scooped up, Sanctuary fluttered her wings and threw herself at her mom. The tears were fat and ugly, rolling down her cheeks before she even knew she was crying. Any words were replaced with ugly little hiccups as she buried her face in her mom's mane. Her real mom, the mom that she knew and loved. Not the pony pretending to be mom, who made her call her Mother and keep her dress prim and proper. The mom that knew what songs she liked, how to make cookies. The mom that just let her be... her. Not a perfect little filly, just... her. Who she was at her core.

When she was set down, her hiccups turned more violent. Sanctuary shrieked, like she might wake up from the dream if her mom let go. She didn't want to wake up. She didn't want to be back there. No matter how nice the house was, no matter how much the food cost, she didn't wanna go back. She wanted mom's hugs, and her bed, and her stuffed animals.

"M-mom, no, please- I- mom, come back...!!!"

--

Lance winced at Sanctuary's cry, trying to stand on wobbly legs with her support. He couldn't even find the energy to be too proud, feel any shame in needing her help. All he could do was go along with her, leaning against the doorway and offering Blind a tired smile.

"My da-- Blind Love. I'll be okay, I promise. I'm just a little shaky. I think Sanctuary-" Another hiccuping sob, and Lance tried to move to grab her, falling short once more. But it was okay. He turned with a tired eye to Blind, and offered her a tired smile.

"She's been so strong. She's been such a brave girl, waiting for you. I promise. I'm okay," Just Lance assured her, keeping on his own four hooves. He wasn't what mattered now. No. What mattered was getting Sanctuary back home, back to her loving mother and siblings. To the life she deserved, that she'd been robbed of these three years. But he'd done it. She was home.

"I'm... I'm tired," he admitted, throat dry with the words. He hadn't thought about it, hadn't let himself consider the exhaustion or the ache in his bones. All he could do was run. Through the trees, over the rivers. Through unfamiliar cities and past uncaring faces. But he'd done it. He'd made it home. Back to friendly faces, warmth and love.

"It's- she never hurt us. It was... hard. Really hard. But she never hurt us."

And, oh. Oh no. There were tears in his own eyes. Lance tried not to hide his eyes in embarrassment, instead regarding her openly. Blind Love deserved that much, at least.

"I'm sorry it took so long to get out. To... to come back home."
#6
She wasn't home. It was... fitting, perhaps. The home they'd shared was empty. Maybe someone else had moved in, in the space he'd been gone. A happy family had come to occupy this space he had abandoned. As much as it hurt, there was comfort in the thought, too. That his own misery would not stretch out and occupy everything it could. Just Lance laughed quietly to himself, a sound more broken than amused. Of course she wouldn't be here. He had been a fool.

At the clattering basket, he managed to look up. And like a dream, there she was. Sunrise on the horizon. The North Star, there to guide his weary bones home.

There had been a story he'd read with his sponsor, once. A man lost at sea, fighting twelve years to come home. Torn from his love, rebuked at every corner. It had all sounded so fantastic at the time— drama, adventure. The great unknown, trying you again and again. But there had been nothing gallant about this. Nothing heroic and brave. Only his own love of Blind, guiding him along the way. Pushing him to run, when he had nothing left in him to give. Calypso, Circe? They had not been so enticing, had not any warmth or love to offer him. Only a sham of what awaited him at home, an old woman playing pretend at the things she could not have.

"Blind Love," he breathed, little more than a whisper. It was well and truly her. Just as beautiful— no, more beautiful than he remembered. Even wracked with grief, she was a vision of perfection. He tried to stand, shaky on his hooves, but could find not the strength to do so. Instead, she came to him. His laughter turned to sobs, something sharp and painful that wracked his body.

"Blind, darling, I'm so sorry— I— I kept her safe. I promise you, I kept her—"



At the jostling that wasn't papa's running, Sanctuary found herself waking up. She blinked several times, the night air suddenly all too cold and unfamiliar. If they weren't running anymore, there must've been a reason. She squinted up at the new shape in her vision, trying to distinguish what she saw, and—

"Mom....?"
#7
It was a beautiful morning. The sun was shining, birds were singing, there wasn't a cloud in the sky. It was the perfect sort of day to go on a quest, to find the perfect ring for his perfect love. She deserved the sun, the moon, all the stars in the sky and nothing less. He wanted to shower Blind Love in affection and material goods alike. Anything and everything she desired, things she didn't even know she wanted, he wanted in her stead. No matter what it was she asked of him, he would get it. Which meant the ring had to be perfect. She would never ask it of him, but he would do that much for her. If he couldn't bring her the moon, this would do instead.

It made sense to bring Sanctuary. A father-daughter bonding day, out to see the world. Sanctuary could offer the feminine touch he so lacked, the keen eye he did not possess. Whether it was finding a stone to polish in a mine, or a premade ring in the store, Sanctuary would have the eye for it. There was giddy in him at the prospect. Would it be a diamond? Or was there another stone- something more unique, more original? There were always pink diamonds. Something that would match her fur, brilliant and beautiful, just as she was.

The plan was perfect. The morning was beautiful.

It was a shame it had all gone so, so wrong.

Three years, now. Three years he had been gone. There on the street one moment, and spirited away the next. But there was no dragon to face, no monster at the end of the road. Only another pony, in want of a perfect pony family. A pretend husband, a pretend daughter. Three years of misery, trying to keep his baby safe. Trying to keep alive the memory of his love. He wasn't sure which was worse- the days he could barely recall Blind's face, when the memories were fuzzy and distant, or the days she was so vivid she was a heartbeat away. What he wouldn't have given to hold her in his arms, to kiss away her tears.

Days turned into weeks. Hours bled together until he was not sure how long he had been away. In the dead of the night, when the other pony got careless (he would not remember their name or their face, he would not), he stole away. Took Sanctuary with him and ran, never looking back. Until his hooves all but bled and his heart could take no more, he ran.

And found himself at Her doorstep once more.

The key was long gone. Left back there, where he refused to return. But he would always, always find Blind Love once more. Just Lance raised a hoof, exhausted and weary, and knocked. With the last of his strength, a desperate plea. Please. Please be here. Even if she hadn't waited, even if she did not love him any longer... just let her hear this. Let her know he was alive, and he was so sorry.

Just Lance curled around Sanctuary, peacefully asleep, and waited.