[Purpose] A Hero [Paladin]

[Nym]

"What was father like?"

She knew the question would happen sooner or later, she just hadn't expected it'd take this long. After all the mulling and pondering on how she'd answer the inevitable she had never landed on an answer she liked, leaving her to just wing it. At the time it had sounded like a good idea -- just follow the heart and it'd all work out. Now, with her son staring directly at her at the foot of the couch, it sounded like a mistake.

She let loose a low sigh as she set down her origami paper, placing it neatly on the table beside the arm of the couch. Paladin didn't follow her movement, eyes locked on her. Unsettling -- it meant he was serious.

"Well," she began, biding her time with a drink from her glass. "He was very sweet. Considerate -- often worried about if he was being polite enough. It was silly; I found him perfectly wonderful at all times." She paused, noting her son's frown. Odd. "He cared a lot about his responsibilities, and whether he was doing a good enough job at them. You remind me of him, in fact."

Paladin stared at her, a frown exploring his face. It wasn't the answer he had wanted, truthfully, especially if in the end she compared him to his father. He had come to her for clarity in his decision making, but it only... complicated things.

"If he cared so much he wouldn't have left us," he answered firmly.[ color=#42DDFF] "And taken Sanctuary."[/color] Perhaps he was too unexperienced to understand, but surely someone so swept up in their duties wouldn't have abandoned his family, right? He could see it in her face -- he didn't know the whole story, but then again, did she? He felt entitled to being angry about the circumstances, in fact. Anger was a new emotion to experience, but it was there and had been simmering for quite some time, nipping at his heels each time he felt he was ready and done with it. No, he needed answers, and it started with his father.

"Paladin, baby," Blind Love began, only to crumple her shoulders in defeat. He hated seeing her so miserable, but honestly it just made him angrier.

"What was his purpose?" He demanded, voice even and level despite the heat of his stare.

"That's an awfully load-"

"No, I mean his purpose. His special talent -- his symbol of being."

Oh. Blind Love smiled fondly, reaching out to gently push hair from Paladin's face. "Knight in Shining Armor," she answered, freezing as her son abruptly scowled. Now that was an expression she wasn't used to. "Pal?"

Of course -- of course! He had hoped for anything else. Something to detach himself from the man he felt so much animosity from, but there it was again -- proof of their connection. His father was a knight out to save others and Paladin.... well, he wanted something awfully similar, didn't he?

Well.
Guess it was time to entirely change his life plan.

"I see," Paladin answered, dry and scratched at the edges. Dejected was the word, but Paladin couldn't put a hoof on his mood currently. He stepped back, a frown stuck on his features, as if etched in with permanent marker. Blind Love sat upright, hooves settling into her lap. Right, this had to stop.

"Why do you ask?" Her voice was soft and careful, but she stared at her son with intent.

"Because," Paladin started, unable to meet her eyes. "In class we discussed purpose, and I- I thought I had mine planned. But if it's the same as his, then... I don't want it."

Blind Love cooed softly, reaching out for her son. As serious and stern as he liked to be he didn't deny her comfort, letting her sweep him up into a tight hug. He sighed heavily, feeling her hooves gently comb through his hair and her delicate hums. One day, he'd be too old for this, but he'd enjoy it while he could.

"Sweet little Paladin, you got it wrong," she hummed, leaning back as Paladin raised his head to acknowledge her. "Just because you have the same ambition and goals doesn't mean you're the same. I could defend your father forever, but at the end of the day you have very real feelings, and they're okay to have. They're yours. But, it doesn't mean you're your father. No matter if he was here or not, your purpose would be your own, and it would manifest in its own special and unique way. Tell me; what did you want your purpose to be?"

Paladin sat there, hair combed and eyes downcast as he considered her words. Her wise words. Kids were meant to always respect and admire their parents, but Blind made it easy. She just... knew what to say, even when he didn't know what he was saying. His head held low, hooves working together into a nervous fret. He wasn't accustomed to feeling out of place, honestly.

"I want to help people," he answered, finally. "But not just good people. Anyone who needs it -- as long as it doesn't hurt someone else."

Blind Love softly tutted, nodding as she considered his words. "Well, does that mean you have to be a knight, like your father?" She questioned. He looked up, frowning.

"Isn't that what... that is?"
"What if you were something else? Like -- like a hero?"

Paladin paused, testing the word out. Hero. Hero. Yeah -- yeah, he liked that. A lot more. A hero saved people! That was their whole point. It... it felt right. Hero.

"I like it," he answered softly, looking up at his mother. She had the answer all along, didn't she? Why hadn't he spoken to her sooner? A hero! Yeah! That was all his. Something individual, and separate from his father. He reached up, loosely hugging his mother. "Thank you, I will need to think on my future as a hero, then." He slipped from her lap, immediately heading off to draw crests for his hero design.  And research -- plenty of research. Which would start with playing Legend of Zelda, to.... y'know -- get really in character.

Or unwind from a stressful talk, that works too.

As he wandered off his mother sat in her seat, still and quiet. She had wanted to say more -- wanted to ask him why he hated his father with such a burning passion. It was probably her fault. The sad sighs and lonely looks could only go missed for so long until one of her sons noticed, and now she felt.... worse. Her suffering had soured Paladin's view of his father, and while, yes, he was missing with her daughter he.... she didn't believe it to be malicious. Their love was over and done, but -- she didn't view him as a bad person.

But Paladin did, and she almost wished she had stopped him to speak further. She would have, but the look of clarity and delight in his eyes had stopped her. He had found his purpose, and... well, she wanted him to have that happiness.

Sometime later they'd need to talk about Just Lance, but right now she was content to go back to her origami, worrying away at delicate paper while rain gently pitter-pattered against the window.